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Jim Vandergriff jhv7 home. Love "There's no jar doesn't have a lid somewhere" -- that's what grammaw would say when one of the girls was complaining about not having a boyfriend. Temptation When the subject of temptation came up, my grandmother would say "Get thee behind me, Satan -- and push , push!

Bad News on Top of Bad News In my family, when we hit a patch of bad luck you're late for an appointment, so you get a speeding ticket, so you're even later, so you doublepark and get a parking ticket, and getting back in the car you're so mad you slam the gearshift too hard and it comes off in your hand An old farmer hardly ever leaves home; he's a bit of a worry wart, one of these people doesn't trust the world to keep on turning if he doesn't keep an eye on it.

But this one time he just has to go to the city for a few days. His first evening in his hotel, he calls home, and his hired man answers. And our farmer says, "So, everything all right at home? Ol' Shep got holt a some dead horsemeat, and it kilt 'im. The farmer's rattled, of course; that dog was a good old friend. But then it occurs to him to wonder "Where did Shep get holt of dead horsemeat?

The horses died when the barn burned, and ol' Shep got holt a some dead horsemeat, and it kilt 'im. And how you develop it depends on your storytelling skills and the patience of your audience.

Breaking Bad News Two old bachelors live together, a quiet pair, with their elderly mother. The one is inordinately fond of his cat. One day while he's away on business, he calls home and says to his brother, "So how's Toodles? Thunderstruck, the traveller absorbs the shock, and then splutters at his heartless brother: Don't you know when you've got bad news like that, you have to break it gently?

You could tell me on the first day that Toodles is on the roof and you can't get him down. And the day after that that you tried coaxing him with food, but he won't come. And the day after that that he's not looking well, and after that that he seems to be deteriorating, and then, then the day after that, then I'd be ready for it. Do you understand now? Well, that's over sniff. So when there's bad news to break, we broach the subject with "uh, Mom's on the Roof. Making the Best of a Bad Situation There's a golf-fanatic, just lives for the game.

In fact, it's ruining his marriage, the way he disappears all weekend, every weekend, never coming home till after dark. His longsuffering wife tries to be understanding, but he can never keep an agreement to limit himself. One beautiful Sunday, she has plans for an outing together, but he tells her he already made plans to go golfing with his buddy Charlie.

Charlie and I have been playing together for fifteen years. After all those thousands of rounds, we are absolutely tied. We have to decide this thing. I'll play this last game, and that's the end of it -- really: I'll sell my clubs and be done with it forever. And when I come home, we'll go to dinner at the best place in town.

Just this last game! She looks at him balefully. If you're one minute late, it's over. Eagerly he promises, and off he goes. She puts on her finest dress and pearls, and waits. Six o'clock comes and goes. So does seven, eight. Finally, at ten-thirty-seven, he comes limping in, sweaty, exhausted, bedraggled.

On the third hole, Charlie -- are you listening? Charlie had a heart attack, keeled over and died! Shocked, she claps her hands to her cheeks. You know how it was after that: When I was a little girl, my mother would oftentimes say in a very serious tone, "All seriousness aside My Mom was a real wit with a wonderful sense of humor.

It took me quite awhile before I realized that she was joking around with me. When excusing himself to step around the corner to urinate, my granddad would say "I'm going to make a river. Quick as a cat on a hot tin roof Fast — Tennessee Williams of course got his title from this one. I'm going to kick you six ways from Sunday and into the middle of next year.

Cool as a blue moose collected in Joplin, although of course the moose is not Native to the state. Not much hand for work like killing rattlesnakes lazy; this was said, surprisingly, of Abraham Lincoln in his youth. Weasel words according to animal lore, weasels suck the insides out of eggs, leaving an empty shell. Weasel words are not merely cowardly, but words that withdraw the intent and forcefulness of what's just been said: A dead ringer many apochryphal stories -- a "ringer" is a racing term for a dishonest substitute; for example, you enter a slow horse in a number of races, and let people decide it's a loser.

Then you enter a much faster, identical animal in another race, and bet heavily on the ringer. A hanging offense on the frontier. They're no better than they should be. Caught between a rock and a hard place. Cock of the walk. Dance with the one that brought you. Texas politics -- an honest corrupt politician can be bought only once, and stays bought. More generally, expresses the sense that one should stick to one's agreements and alliances. He has a deep well. The sense is, "Do not come into conflict with this person.

He will kill you and your body will not be found. He is Hell on wheels. He kicked the bucket. The beam was called a bucket, and in its death throes, the hog would kick at it. Unpleasantly vivid if true. If that kid don't leave home I'm going to break his plate apparently refers to a leaving-home ceremony. There may be snow on the roof, but there is still fire in the furnace older folks are capable of passion.

Well-heeled prosperous -- lit. Lyndon Johnson was reputed to have said that he had "generals that were so dumb that they couldn't pour piss out of a boot if they had the instructions printed on the heel"!! Current in KY c. If'n it had been a snake, it would have bit ya why is this a favorite of senior waitresses?

Only difference between a woman and a vulture is that a vulture circles at least once before it chews your ass out! Idioms and lore from The Woods Colt: A Novel of the Ozark Hills. On its appearance, the novel was extravagantly praised in Time http: The dialect, while linguistically authentic, is intrusive, and while the author is at pains to avoid romantic and sentimental views of the backwoodsfolk, he sometimes errs in the opposite direction, depicting them as more uniformly degenerate and vicious than would be sustainable in any close-knit society.

Part of the contemporary — and enduring — appeal of the novel is ethnographic. It makes sometimes heavy-handed efforts to incorporate verbal and other lore from the Ozarks plateau.

Much of what the reader finds is easily confirmed by other sources; these may stand as witnesses in favor of the authenticity of items not yet recorded independently. Si non e vero, e ben trovato. Signs and other nonverbal lore: If you see a spider in the middle of the path, there is a letter waiting for you. Find iron where lightning has struck, and form it into a ring, which guards against arthritis.

Bend over a mullein stalk. If your love is true, it will grow upright again. Or build a fire of hickory sticks. If your live is true, it will burn clear and steady. When you hear the first dove of the season, you will soon take a journey in the direction from which you heard the call. When you hear an owl hoot in the afternoon, rain will follow within forty-eight hours. The call of a whippoorwill or the bellowing of cattle presages a death though the speaker acknowledges that these things happen all the time without any notable mortality.

When lightning bugs fly high, expect fair weather. Squirrels should be skinned while still warm. A woman who makes a fist with the thumb outside dominates her husband, and one who places the thumb inside obeys him. Root hog or die. We get a lot of questions about this one. It's used in a variety of circumstances, either excusing unpleasantness or counseling stoicism and courage -- the general sense is, "you've got to do what you've got to do.

I'm right from old Virginny wid my pocket full ob news I'm worth twenty shillings right square in my shoes It doesnt make a dif of bitternance to neider you nor I Big pig or little pig, Root, hog, or die.

I'm chief cook and bottlewasher, cap'n ob de waiters; I stand upon my head, When I peel de Apple dumplins. I'se happiest darkee on de top ob de earth I get fat as possom in de time ob de dearth Like a pig in a tate patch dar let me be Way down in old Virginny whar its Root, hog, or die. De Boston dandies dey look so very grand Old clothes hand me down gloves upon de hand High heel boots boots moustaches round de eye - A perfect sick family ob Root, hog, or die.

De Boston gals dey de beat dem all Dey wear high heel shoes for to make demself's tall If dey dont hab dem de Lor how dey'l cry De boys hab got to get dem or else Root, hog, or die. De Shanghie coats dey're getting all de go Whar de boys get dem I realy dont know But dey're bound to get dem if dey dont hang too high Or else dey make de Taiors run Root, hog or die. The scholarship on the subject is rather thin and unsystematic, and a standard taxonomy lacks, though potentially useful models exist in the field of proverb research.

Some of the following were taken from James B. McMillan and Michael B. University of Alabama Press, Tennessee Folklore Society Bulletin Cites sayings and idioms. Boshears, Frances, and Herbert Halpert.

Proverbial comparisons from an East Tennessee county. List of comparisons compiled in Scott County. Tongue twisters and a few other examples of linguistic folklore. Kentucky Folklore Record Three dozen folk expressions, mostly tongue twisters, from Mississippi and Kentucky. As Jesse Stuart heard it in Kentucky.

Kentucky Folklore Record 9. Folk expressions in Stuart's writings. A word-list from the Southern highlands. Publication of the American Dialect Society 2. Includes list of figures of speech and idioms. Elizabethan left-overs in Allen County, Kentucky.

Western Kentucky University thesis. Discusses obsolete words, pronunciations, grammatical features, meanings, and idioms. Thangs Yankees don' know: Thangs yuh should larn! Collection of unusual tidbits about mountain life for tourists. Common comparisons and folk sayings. A study of folklore in Adair County, Kentucky, George Peabody College thesis. Anecdotal discussion of similes and list of "epithets used to show surprise, anger, disgust, or unhappiness.

Some folk expressions from northeastern North Carolina. North Carolina Folklore Layman's collection of localisms, all well known. Hamilton, Kim, and Dana Holcomb. List of similes collected by high school students from their grandparents. Unusual words, expressions, and pronunciation in a North Carolina mountain community. Unusual usage, idioms, names, and pronunciations collected by an outsider.

How our mountain speech became so colorful. Great smoky mountain stories and sun over ol' starlin, pp. Says early mountain residents often crafted new words to meet immediate needs, and lists local idioms and figures of speech not acknowledged by dictionaries. Proverbial comparisons and similes in On Troublesome Creek. Kentucky Folklore Record 8. Figures of speech in James Still novel, set in Kentucky.

Metaphor in mountain speech. Mountain Life and Work Reprinted in Bobbs-Merrill Series, Language Says "speech of Southern Mountaineers bristles with strong language, pungent metaphors, vivid similes, and vigorous personifications" and discusses social uses of these figures of speech; says similes far outnumber all other types of figurative expressions.

Discusses figures of speech and traditional expressions for characterizing great physical strength, unusual courage, honesty, strength of convictions, and other personal traits in Southern Appalachian speech. Discusses and exemplifies exaggerations used in Southern mountains.

Kentucky Folklore Bulletin, pp. Classification of more than hundred similes based on comparisons to vegetables, animals, and minerals. There were damned few like us - and all of them are dead. I fear you have created a monster here! Nevertheless, I can't resist adding a few:. Someone who is one bubble off plumb might also be one brick shy of a load, or His bread is not quite done.

Does this relate to Half-baked? Back in the '50's we would say to couples going out on a date, "Don't do anything I wouldn't do - and if you do, name it after me.

The couple might say, "Let's don't and say we did. A family might live so far out in the woods they had to keep their own tomcat.

And the house could be too small to swing a cat in. But there's more than one way to skin a cat. Also "nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.

If "if's" and "Ands" were pots and pans, there'd be no work for tinkers. Now these are specific to my family as far as I know. We "hold no truck with" procrastinators, re:. Grandma was not "persnickity" nit-picky. If something was not quite right she might say "It'll never be seen on a galloping horse.

When a cold east wind blew, "That wind is comin' right down through the peach orchard! Grandma had an old cow named Reddy. When asked "Are you ready? Just one more old tale: Uncle Levi walked to the store at Crook to get a few things. He was coming home, carrying his purchases in a poke, picking his way down the muddy road, when he dropped his poke and everything in it. A must visit place for singles. Join an casual interest group.

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