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To her shock and bemusement, there was a new term to describe what she had been doing most of her life — dating younger men. For many women, younger men — many of them 15 years or more their juniors — are a natural fit. Wheeler, a fiery redhead who lives outside Baltimore, leaned back in her chair and sighed. I was a cougar before there were cougars. She listed a string of young men with whom she had various relationships, occasionally punching numbers into a calculator to determine age differences she had never considered in the first place.
For Wheeler and other women like her, younger men — many of them 15 years or more their juniors — are a natural fit. Widowed, separated, or divorced, a growing number seek young men for dating and companionship. And since men have been dating younger women for ages, why are so many of us surprised — shocked, even — that women would follow suit? These days, real-life cougars are stars like Demi Moore who, in her 40s, married then-twenty-something heartthrob Ashton Kutcher , the coiffed reality-show cast of The Real Housewives of Orange County, and, yes, everyday women — suburbanites and city-slickers alike.
A year-old woman going out with a year-old guy is considered creepy. Why the double standard? Smith figured it comes down to science: All scientific notions aside, older women opt for younger men for the same reasons that older men select younger women. A whopping 34 percent of women over 40 are dating younger men, according to a survey. The same poll, which surveyed 3, single people both women and men aged 40 to 69 years old, found that 56 percent are currently separated or divorced from a spouse, 31 percent have never been married, and seven in 10 74 percent of formerly married singles in their 50s have been single for five years or more.
For Wheeler, younger men have been a natural fit for an energetic lifestyle that her male peers have never quite matched. In fact, the stuff of the past may be what keeps her from dating men closer to her age altogether. That and music, of course.
And being stuck in the music they listened to in college. Men, of course, have their reasons for dating older women , too. The year-old works in L. And that works out just fine for these young men, who often prefer relationships—whether fleeting or long-term—with cougars.
So be it if the relationship goes further. Smith has found young men to be quite enthusiastic about spending time with her, and she definitely enjoys the attention. After all, she has worked hard for it, with ample sessions of yoga, calculated vitamin concoctions, a good diet, and even a little Botox here and there.
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CougarLife strives to put an end to the double standard and provide singles with a welcoming place to express their true desires, and they certainly do that. SeekingCougar is specifically for serious cougar dating, so those want a long-term relationship can definitely find that. Cougars are often more mature, confident in their own skin, and stable in their professional and personal lives than younger women.
These are the reasons AgeMatch exists — to address the particular wants and needs of these singles. And thanks to components like a vast user base and quick sign-up process, they do a great job. The site also caters to older men who want to date younger women and vice versa.
Cougar dating is growing more popular every day, and Cougared recognizes that. Besides being exclusively for older women and younger men and having thousands of members from all over the world, Cougared also offers cool features like a helpful forum for members to talk with one another about a variety of topics and active social media profiles especially Facebook with extra tips and tricks for this type of dating.
With thousands of members in the U. There should be no shame in dating someone older or younger, and AgelessDating provides you with an understanding atmosphere where you can feel comfortable expressing your desires. Niche dating sites are becoming more and more important to singles, and AgelessDating is taking the cougar dating niche by storm with its targeted user base, advanced features, and inclusive attitude. Cougars are well aware of what you are to them, and don't want a real relationship, but they definitely don't want to be having bad, meaningless sex with someone, so try to come across a little romantic and as though a relationship with you isn't TOTALLY an insane idea.
I get pretty high matches with most cougar-aged women, I only get into trouble on being so sexually open, and so clearly not looking for love. I toned it back a bit and made it less thirsty, but the fact is, I'm 23 messaging women in their 40's, they're going to assume you only want sex, regardless of what your profile says. The Pursuit start off by scouting womens' profiles on the advanced search. Any women over 35 with a lower limit of around 26 is fair game. Next, send a fucking phenomenal message.
It's gonna be a bit of a copypasta but tailor the shit out of it to where the intro and outro are the only thing consistent. Make it long but not rambling, to the point but not crass, show some balls but don't be cocky. Don't ask stupid small talk questions, don't compliment her she knows she's hot, she's been hot for 40 years and has had way cooler dudes approach her with every trick in the book. A lot of these women have been failed and wronged by the older dudes on OKC.
The bar is actually pretty low in all honesty--just be good-looking, really normal and sane, have your shit together and don't be pushy or creepy.
Come across open-minded and free spirited, yet focused and ambitious. Don't mention too much about age difference, but don't act like its in no way obvious. You really want to set yourself apart from the creepy, horny dudes who are looking to fulfill a "milf fantasy" even if that totally is the case for you, just don't let it show. Just be one of those "age doesnt matter types. A cougar I met on OKC messaged me once after a failed date, even though she never responded to my first message, so don't delete messages if you can.
Also, every once in a while a second message might be ok, persistence is good in very certain situations--like the "you're cute but maybe too young for me, but I am so flattered" woman. MISC My last bit of advice is, try to meet cougars friends, seriously. Network like you would a job, they are likely to be established and successful so it won't hurt to know them!
Your advice is pretty solid IMO for casual dating in general. The biggest flaw, shown by the hundreds of critiques here, is that most people posting them have been incapable of more than one or two of those steps.
As a 32 year old woman on okc who gets a thousand messages from young 20's males along the lines of, "hey sexiii I'm cougar hunting u interested? First of all, I'm not a fucking cougar That does not work on grown women. Mentioning 'I like older women' is a turnoff. And do look at their age range. Messaging when you are years below it probably is a waste of time. They can afford A list and it's message filters. Additionally, if a woman seems dubious or hesitant, saying "But I'm mature for my age!
She's heard it before, it usually isn't true enough for her to care particularly if she isn't super-into the idea of being a cougar , and it comes off as pushy and not respectful of her boundaries especially if she said a firm "no". Also helpful advice, and true. I try to show I am "mature for my age" by being direct, serious and showing that I understand something about dating! I agree, I try not to push the age range too much. If I see a 45 year old woman looking for "a long term relationship" mentions she "wants kids" etc.
Here's a hot tip for all you studs out there looking to snatch up life's sloppy seconds. When courting older clientele the trick is to use their children as an in.
What you want to do is capture and release after, you sicko one of their young and coat yourself in it's urine. This covers you in powerful pheromones that are both irresistible to the female cougar and an effective sterilizing agent.
Thanks to science, you've just scored yourself a one way ticket to bone town, condom free. As an added bonus, the piss-soaked shirt you're wearing will help you cool off if you're in a desert, as seen on Man vs.
I would love to address any concerns you might have, this is pretty high level game after all, but I'm not a mind reader. You'll have to be more specific with your criticism. As a woman with children the last thing I want from a man I've never met is him trying to use my children as a way of trying to talk to me.
I realize you were being sarcastic but I was working on the assumption that you were getting at talking about kids in order to get a woman to respond. Also, photos on your profiles of you with your cute kids, nephews, niece's, god children, etc Also not as great as you'd think.
Unless you have their face blacked out. Then it's cute AND you get points for not "exploting" the child for our attention, even though you still technically are haha.
Put your filter on , now look at the women on OKC in your area. If you can find more than 10 actually hot girls online in the last day, with full and thoughtful profiles, numerous questions, a green bar for replies often even a yellow , and ZERO mentions of Netflix or "there is no typical friday night," I'll PM you my OKC profile and you can totally publicly shame me.
Women my age suck, and are really irrational, horrible at conveying their thoughts and emotions, and don't want to date or hookup at all, with even insanely good looking, sweet guys. Seriously, if you could meet 21 year old you now, you'd probably fucking hate her and 21 year old you definitely did not welcome the possibility of dating as many men as you do now. It's just not on their radar, online or offline, as I'm sure MANY men in this demographic on this sub will attest to.
And it doesn't hurt that women honestly get better with age, physically and mentally. It's just the damned truth. The green for replies pretty much doesn't exist for females though, unless they have no photo..
Why are you looking at women under 22? The younger ones are still in college! Of course they are in a different place than you and not looking for anything serious! My daughters are 18 and 20 and have boyfriends and would consider a 23 year old 'too old' for them. They also don't need OKC because they have huge social circles with the friend of friends, college buddies etc. The word cougar is highly offensive, as is your "advice.
If they wanted a dude who spent all day smoking weed and playing video get into trouble on being so sexually open, and so clearly not looking for love. .. huge social circles (with the friend of friends, college buddies etc). women looking for a good time with younger men. Ron and Plymouth College of Art, encouraged him to sign up specifically to cougar sites after they “She was 40, lonely and wanted to have a younger man to talk to. over an ex with Tinder and I've always wanted to hook up with a cougar. to find and hook up with older women who are looking for younger guys? If you see the over 30 lady at the college bar, that's an open invitation.