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It took me a bit to parse out mutable's posts, but once I did I realized that it was saying stuff that's bothered me for a while, too. I think what she was trying to say is that lebles exhibits every tendency that has been discussed on the forum at length at one time or another, but in a particularly problematic way.

She signs off with sigs that certain regulars have expressed discomfort with. She misspells specific words that regulars have mentioned having quirks about but, somehow, no other words? She uses caps which draw extra attention to spiritual notions which would otherwise go unnoticed and which, again, bothers certain regulars. Race came up recently at length, and, coincidentally, lebles happens to be one of our few non-white posters. She is constantly flattering other posters, to the point of being almost revolting.

She uses exact phrases that other posters use when speaking with newbies even though she, herself, is a newbie. She can't resist passing up an opportunity to teach people new things or throw out a juicy factoid, which regulars have stated they enjoy. The interesting problematic thing is that the "nice" traits make it difficult to question her intentions without seeming like a bastard it doesn't help that it could be a matter of cultural difference , and yet it's really hard not to question, given that even the NICE traits have been discussed at length on here.

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I use to have a good friend that had that happen to be a rotten human being, lol. He would absolutely lie cheat and steal from everyone but me. Ironiy he was insanely honest with me. Damn he was one hot teenager at the time.

But anyway he lied so well that he quite literally beat lie detector test. He was so comfortable with his lies that they wouldn't even register basiy. Unfortunately no matter how good of a liar he was the law caught up with him and got 10 to 20 years are something close to that in jail. And you know what he got out and went back to lying again. And to boot actually sued his mom from jail for inheretence from his father and won.

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Especially if you plan on trying to raise together. You should be prepared for the reality that he never live up to his potential, especially if he has someone to support him. Sorry but it could happen, not that it necessarily. So, is that a deal breaker?

A couple of my favorite lines in a Cake seem very appropriate here: The ornaments look but they're weighing down the branches of the tree. I don't want to sit a across the table from you, wishing I could run. It was following her actually telling me the truth about her life. She had made some really dumb choices in the past, she was ashamed and that I'd find out and leave. She'd had an abusive stepfather and a mother who took no action after it was discovered.

Screwed her up good. However as others have noted be the case here, she clung to it for protection. She used it as a defense of any fucked up action, after all, she had suffered so much. There was no way I could understand, no way I could relate and therefore I was insensitive because my response was much that it was not the reason she continued to make poor choices. The fact is that people CAN relate, we all have things that have been "done" to us we had no control over.

Things that hurt us and we didn't handle well, we've all fucked up our lives at one point or another. We've all hurt someone we and been hurt in return, its part of the human condition. But there's a breaking point, that point in time where your life is now your own. You have to look around and take stock, realize you've placed yourself where you are.

Its hard to give up that trump card, that ace in the hole that allows us to slip the weight of responsibility and escape the brunt of the consequences.

Because when you toss that away the light turns upon ourselves, from that point forward we are the ones that stand in judgment of our own actions. So before you discard this guy because he's so insensitive perhaps he's one who MORE sensitive? He's also brave knowing until you take that step you cannot get over your past. Once you do you'll be able to look him in the eye on things, become the partner you are capable of, a full partner not a dependent one.

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