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My name is Katie, and I'm mid-forties, married, with two grown daughters and a lovely husband, Jeff. My Jeffrey is a warm, loving, easygoing sort of guy that has never had a problem giving in to me when I am serious about something. He lets me call the shots, as it were, and now looking back on our relationship, even before marriage, I would have to admit I've always been the dominant partner.

Before we were first married, Jeff confessed to me that liked spanking - that is, he liked to receive a spanking from a girl. A few of his girlfriends had tried to play this way with him, but they weren't into that sort of thing. Jeff is six foot, two hundred pounds, was always a good athlete in football and track in school, and you'd never know that he had a submissive side.

He always looked and acted like a big bossy jock, which was part of his attraction for me. As we dated in college, and I got to know him more, he started to open up to me about his true feelings and desires.

I listened and asked questions, some of them very direct and deeply probing, and he always answered me truthfully, no matter what. I really liked the open intimacy that he gave me as he revealed everything I asked about, and I think part of the reason I fell so deeply in love with him was because of his openness and vulnerability with me.

He's anything but open and vulnerable with other people, but with me he is, and that makes me feel very special and very loved. I shared much of my history with him, but not in nearly so great detail as he did with me, mainly because I was so much more inquisitive. Over time, as I prodded and probed, he shared all his sexual fantasies and secret desires with me, while I shared with him what I thought was appropriate.

It's not that I'm holding back, in fact I've told him a lot more than he asked for, but I guess it's just that my 'need to know' is much more powerful than his. So by the time we were married, I felt I knew him very well. He was a powerful, "A"-type man, with a submissive side that needed a lot of feminine nurturing at home, in sort of a 'maternal' way. In other words, he very much wanted me to be in charge, at least at home and in the bedroom, at least a lot of the time.

I think he needs it to balance his aggressiveness and dominant persona out in the business world. Being kind of a bossy girl all my life, this wasn't much of a problem for me to accept. In fact, he agreed that I could and should have the final say in financial and family matters, while he threw himself into his career and made us a bunch of money, being the big powerful man in the world.

So back to our dating When he confessed he liked to be spanked, I asked him a lot of questions, and found that the answers weren't as weird as I might have expected. The bottom line was that, he wanted to completely 'give' himself to a woman, feel that she was watching over him, taking care of him, and loving him enough to give him a little correction when she felt he needed it.

One thing that brought out those feelings for him was if his woman would love him enough to take him across her knees from time to time and swat his bottom, to help him stay centered and focused and relaxed - knowing that she was in charge of taking care of him.

I suppose there's a 'little boy' inside every big strong man, just needing a feminine guiding hand to help him along in life. He knew that all of these things he told me might push me away, but he'd rather our relationship fizzle than to live a life with a woman that couldn't love him the way he needed to be loved.

I particularly liked that he was 'shopping' me as a potential wife for a life-long relationship, and not just as a girlfriend 'for as long as it lasted'. Since he was being so open with me, it showed that his priorities were straight. Such a good boy. Strangely, his relationship with his mother was truly outstanding, she's a wonderful lady, and he hadn't grown up being spanked by her at all.

He confessed that his desire for spanking had started during and after puberty, and wasn't based on past experience with his mother. That was a relief to me, as I didn't want a man who simply wanted me to replace his mommy. For my part, I suspected the dominant side of my personality is what allowed me to listen to him and calculate everything with at least a fairly open mind.

I weighed the pros and cons and came up with "maybe One night, after a date which had included a lot of kissing and a little petting, we had 'the discussion' upon which our relationship built from that time forward, and has lasted all the way to and through marriage and children and twenty-two years together. That was the night of our first spanking. The night of 'the discussion' was the first time I saw my Jeffrey naked, and the first time I spanked his bottom. I think we were both a little disappointed.

His genitals were smaller than I had hoped, although that's not really a good criterion for deciding on marriage, but it's something I did notice. For his part, I think the spanking I gave him was not nearly long or hard enough to suit him, but he did a good job of being grateful and thanking me.

As we continued to date, we agreed that once per week, and only if we were alone, he could ask me for a spanking. It was my choice whether I gave him one or not. Over time, he encouraged me to research what he called 'domestic disciplinary spanking' in some magazines he gave me. I read some articles and learned a few tricks of the trade.

As our relationship grew as we dated for the next couple years, he no longer could ask me for a spanking. I changed the system to one where I would choose when, where, and why he would be spanked. I also learned to spank for a purpose - meaning, to spank him because of something he did or said, or because I wanted to change something in his behavior - and that sort of spanking included scolding.

On the one hand, I didn't like the way this made me feel like his mother, or that he was a little boy. I felt ok with that. We married, and it was a wonderful June day and everything went well. We moved in together and started our new life. As our life together progressed, the spanking continued to evolve, as did our relationship. The girls came along, which made spanking my husband more difficult, but I managed to get him safely across my lap at least twice a month, and by spanking him severely it seemed to work alright.

Over the years, and possibly because I regularly spanked my husband for disciplinary purposes, I became more and more dominant in our marriage, and it showed. I got comments from my friends on how well behaved and attentive and cooperative was my Jeff, and they would compliment him and make him blush.

Sometimes he got comments from male friends that he was pussy whipped and henpecked and a wimp. Of course, when they said these things to my jock husband, if it was in fun he let it go. If it was meant to hurt, he would just deck the guy and their friendship would be over. His business prospered, we did well as a family, my job in the medical profession helped out and kept me busy. Then the girls went away to college and we were 'empty nesters' in our forties, with time on our hands.

All the while over those years, I kept feeling more powerful and more dominant in our marriage. I loved Jeff, and still do, with all my heart. Nothing can or will ever change that. But as he became more submissive to me over the years, it made two desires grow in me.

First, I grew in my need for more dominance over him in every way. I had grown to adore having my big handsome husband obey me, and I really liked it when this happened in public. I liked to decide what chores he would do, what he would wear, how he would groom, and how he should address me in public and private.

I'm a big fan of "Yes, dear, whatever you say, dear. The more public his submission became, the more my girlfriends noticed, the more awed looks of envy I received from them, and the more requests for advice they made. Jeff and I had talked for quite a while about it, and finally he agreed that it would be alright for me to tell both my sister, and my closest girlfriend, that he was a spanked husband - and that was the secret to his good behavior.

We discussed that these revelations should be made by both of us together, that way, Jeff would be able to confirm what I said. I really felt that if we were going to share our life, we should do it together. Of course, it was exciting to me to think of having my big strong husband at my side, nodding in agreement, as I told the two closest people in my life. It was a long discussion that I had with Jeff prior to this decision, and as always I listened as he shared his thoughts and feelings.

I always take his feelings and suggestions under serious consideration, but we had long before come to the understanding that I made the decisions. We liked the system of 'we discuss, I decide, you obey.

I must admit that it thrilled me to tell my sister and my BFF. I did it both times in Jeff's blushing presence, as we had agreed. The looks on the faces of my sister Jane, and then later, my girlfriend Donna, were just priceless as you can imagine. From that day forward, it was like something snapped in me, and in Jeff, sort of freeing us to really go further with the wife-led-marriage lifestyle we had built. I loved feeling in charge of our marriage, and Jeff loved feeling submissive toward me.

We happily continued raising our teenagers and going about the things in life that really mattered. But strangely, there was that other desire that had grown in me over the years, and it seemed incompatible with my happiness as an 'in-charge wife'.

It was a desire not to have to be dominant all the time. No matter how bossy you are, a think girl wants to feel like a beautiful delicate docile flower at least once in a while. That just wasn't something likely to happen in my marriage, and I certainly wouldn't want to live that way. I am a soft feminine dominant woman. But I had a nagging 'empty' spot that wanted, just for a moment every now and then, to feel like a soft feminine submissive woman. As we had lived, loved, and grown together over the years of building our life and raising the girls, we had kept up the practice of having some emotionally intimate time to share our deepest feelings with each other.

Jeff's submissiveness continued to grow toward me, confessing that he enjoyed feeling lightly humiliated by me - such as when he had to sit next to me when I told my sister that I spanked him regularly on his bare bottom over my lap. He cringed when I questioned him, and he had to admit he was greatly aroused by reliving a certain day at my sister's house. Jeff had been in a bad mood and had been impolite with my sister. I'd had enough of that, and asked Jane if I could use her bedroom for a few minutes.

She said 'yes', unsure what was going on. I took Jeff by the hand, went into the bedroom, and put him across my knees. The swats were nice and loud on his bottom, as were his gasps and cries, removing any doubts Jane might have had. He certainly learned his lesson. He liked that I had long ago taken total control over his ejaculations and had been limiting them to no more than once per week - and ONLY with my permission and supervision.

I had read about this in a naughty magazine and it proved to be a very powerful tool in keeping a well behaved husband.

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