I had on glboobieses and a black shirt.
I want a female for ltr Hi I'm here for real, seeking for descent female not into drama world. I am also a musician, carpenter, published author currently working on 3 projects. Would love me a BBW today lets not mess around m4w I really wanna get with a BBW today. Good luck :-) - I do have a and work full time. 5' lb black boy.
Where do you start when all you have is a name and a face in a high school yearbook and no mutual friends? I sat next to a boy freshman year.
He shared his candy with me. He drew comic strips that made me laugh. We were good friends. And then we graduated and 50 years went by.
A few months ago, someone told me he had died. So I decided to see for myself. Three days into my search for him, I was still at square one. I called our high school and they knew nothing. I Googled, but everything was a dead end. I called every phone number I found that might have a connection to him.
All had been disconnected. It was a South Carolina number. It was listed as belonging to a nephew, but a woman answered. And she said he was alive and well. I was this close to giving up. But a maze has a way out and I found it. Turns out he is ultra-private and very spiritual.
He has few ties with anyone from the past. I have not talked to him, but I did message him that I was glad he has had a good life.
And you know what? That was enough for me. Seeing his picture that his sister shared with me, seeing the serenity in his face was worth all the digging and the sleuthing. Read more from Grandparents.
The 7 worst things you can say to a friend on a diet 7 friends you'd be better off without How to help a sick friend. Tap here to turn on desktop notifications to get the news sent straight to you.
Start with a yearbook, notebook, or letter with the return address or old e-mail. Then Google the person using this information.
Something as small as including a middle initial or hometown or line of work can save you hours. You might hit pay dirt with your first try. But if Googling gets you nowhere I wrote everything I knew about Jack, that he had been in the Air Force, that he had lived in Hawaii, that he was an artist. I posted his high school picture. I also asked my friends to share the post. Google every name and address you find. This led me easily to multiple phone numbers and addresses.
But because the obituary was eight years old, every phone number I called was out of service. But I found more addresses. Hang on to the addresses. They were my failsafe. I knew that if I found nothing online, I would write real letters to all these addresses.
And hope for a reply. Spread the net wider. Go back and Google the siblings again and this time write down any information you discover about their children. Then Google these names. Double check information sent by well-meaning people.
It was dated But it was John Paul, not John Joseph. Call every number you run across. What you want is someone to hang with near where you live. Having a friend who lives an hour's drive away will mean you won't see them as much as the person who lives closer. So think global, but stay local. That means your local coffee shop, the local branch of the public library, they local chapter of the Sierra Club, or the local college that offers evening courses.
Go to mobile site./p>
That just brought on more problems and I felt that I had to apologize for being me. These are things we talked about when they occurred and worked through them, so, why on earth would they be dragged up now…other than to hurt me.
The obvious conclusion to me is that she carries things from the past and uses them as weapons when fit. I decided to walk away this morning…quietly, without saying anything, because there is really nothing I can say.
Thank you for sharing your experience. I caused a friend much heartache and pain. I went as far as causing him to lose a business deal worth thousands of dollars. We were in a relationship and he caused me much hurt and pain and all I wanted to do was make him hurt. I called the store where he was and they called his name over the loud speaker he got so upset and left the meeting.
Unfortunately everyone has gone through something with a friend that they wish they could change at one point in their life. I hope you are able to find some peace. Wishing you the very best. I have been in a one-sided friendship for years, and yet I continue to give.
My friend recently called me and shared that due to our fallouts, she had pushed me away. I was also very co-dependent, and accepted full responsibility. She also said that she realizes what a great friend I amam. I would love any advice! I just want to be done with this chapter of my life and let go. I think you have already answered it yourself. Wishing you all the very best!
Depends on the situation. Without knowing what the dynamics are, it would be difficult to give advice. Maybe write a goodbye letter or possibly nothing needs to be said, you just need to go on with your life without this person. Hard too say without being there to know.
I am going with the moving on and being thankful for all that I have learned from this experience! I am going through this right now with a friend I have had for around 30 years. It is complicated as she is also a sorority sister.
If I am happy and well she is nowhere to be found. The only other time I hear from her is when she wants to vent. She constantly critcizes other friends in our circle and gossips about them…thrilled when they suffer any misfortune. I know she does the same regarding me. I recently have been having health issues over Christmas and had to block her number and get off Facebook entirely. She kept calling and texting etc. I have never told any of other friends what she has said about them.
I could never hurt them like that. Now she is running behind the scenes running me down to them. All because I did not want to feed her desire to see and feed off my sickness. It was my story to tell when I was ready. These are just a few examples. She displays extreme jealousy whenever I try to spend time with other friends or sisters and most often finds out and shows up….
Yet she plans outings with this group and never includes me. I guess my question is…. I feel I have to be extremely secretive with every relationship I have. She has even tried to hijack events I have planned with my husband. I have gone out of my way to be supportive. I would hate to lose my other friendships over this but she is driving me crazy. Like I said this is 30 years of complicated and I guess I could write a book.
Hi Eliza, thanks so much for sharing such a personal experience. Wishing you the very best and good for you for knowing when to walk away from a friendship that no longer brings you happiness. Reading your article is so helpful. Ive had to walk away from a friend who I thought would be in my life forever. We were very close and our kids were great friends.
But about 3 years ago it turned toxic. There are a few different reasons why I walked away but the main one was my role as a carer. I am a fulltime carer of 3 kids who have various illnesses and conditions. Being a carer to them all is very stressful and as a result I have health problems myself. It was very hurtful to hear this said to me over and over. I felt like I had to explain myself constantly and justify their disabilities all the time to her. It was causing me such distress and even anxiety.
It still upsets me that she put me through that. Hi Trish, thanks so much for sharing your experience. I am so sorry you went through that. Wendy what do you do when you want to end a toxic friendship with someone who is sick? I would have ended this friendship earlier, but then they were diagnosed with cancer, although they are not sick at the moment and in remission.
When they heard the news of their fate, they became worse in the friendship. The thing is, by ending this friendship I know people will think I am heartless and cold but I cannot confront the person whilst they are in their current predicament and I have put up with their toxicity for many years to the point that it is making me really unhappy.
This cycle has happened for many years and often I feel bullied within this group of friends, when they ignore me in social situations and try to belittle me. An incident happened a few weeks ago that was so painful, that I have not been able to contact her or speak to her since. You already answered the question. If the other people who are connected to this person are just as toxic, and you already feel belittled and ignored by them, why would you continue to put yourself through such abuse?
Take care of you and get away from those who make you feel bad. Friends are supposed to lift you up, not tear you down. If being around your friend is creating more painful feelings than good feelings, maybe some distance would be best so you can take care of healing your own feelings. As you know, I have had a similar experience, and despite having high hopes things would turn around, I, too, decided it was time to end things.
And, just like you experienced, I kind of felt like I only heard from my friend when she was in trouble. Regardless of how hard it was, I think it was the right one. Sorry you had a similar experience. I walked away from the person I once thought of as my best friend.
I am in my forties and she is in her fifties. We are both married. She had always treated me so great and would tell me that she was closer to me than her own family. She text me from morning till night, and would always come by and call. She would tell me she thought we were soul mates. Within the last couple of years, she has had a facelift and a boob job. I have also had things done, so this is not a jealousy issue. She was becoming a different person. She talked about herself constantly and started needing validation from lots of men.
We would have a girls night out at least once a month and have to admit we both loved the attention we would get from men when we were out. She was always on the computer on dating sites. She would show me pictures of men she would talk to, and a lot of the time it was big burly men that she was just kidding around with. There came a point where she would tell me she would go meet men that lived in our area. She would meet them at a convenience store parking lot. They would talk a few minutes and sometimes she would kiss them before she left.
She would start telling me little things about how she invited a man she knew to her house while her husband was out of town and they had gotten in the tub together. Up to this point, she was still texting and calling. She still would tell me that I was her best friend.
Then she met this young guy through one of these dating sites. He was 35 and had 3 small kids. His wife was in prison and he was raising them on his own. She would show me some of the things he wrote her and she even took me by his apartment to meet him he lived in the same town as us.
This is when everything began to change. About the time that she first met this guy, she had begged me to go on cruise with her. Her daddy had died couple months before and left her a large amount of money,so she paid for everything.
It took me a few days to agree to go because I had to talk about it with my husband. In this short amount of time before the cruise, she started treating me totally different. We had planned one of our girls night out and were going to leave at 6: Now, she is always at least 10 to 15 minutes late. I always tease her about it, but have never gotten mad. I knew she was lying. She shows up and I told her I had rode to her house and knew she was lying.
She ended up with two different stories and all she got out of all this was that I was mad she was late. She admitted that she went to his house, but said she had just ran by there because his daughter had cooked cookies and wanted her to try one. This was just the beginning. She would tell little lies when it came to him. She stopped calling, coming by, and pretty much quit texting. I tried to ask her if there was anything bothering her that had to do with me. Her response was that nothing was bothering her but her back.
I thought maybe when she was away from everything, she might be herself again; I was wrong. She was nice, but seemed annoyed.
I felt like I was with a stranger. She did not want to be there with me. She had already gotten divorced and was living in another city. I just happened to catch her at her old house where her ex-husband is still living. She never even told me she was getting a divorce around the same time we were going on the cruise. I am sure it is because I am the one who knew the real reason for her divorce and not the lies she had to tell everyone else; She was doing the same thing as before.
She wanted to tell me she had met someone, but never wanted me to know she was actually sleeping with him. She would rather shut me out of her life than for me to know. I was never a true friend. I was a distraction when she needed it and needed someone to go out with. It has not bothered her at all. She has never even tried to contact me.
I really appreciate your article as I have recently had a hurtful conflict with someone I had considered to be a close and life long friend. I have walked away from friendships before as it became clear to me we no longer had much in common, but this is the first time I am considering walking away from a friendship that i had considered important.
I need to respond to some very devastating and hurtful comments and I am torn over how much effort, if any I should invest.
I take my friends very seriously and am really torn over whether or not I could ever really trust her again. Your article has been helpful and thought provoking.
Hi Elizabeth, I am so glad the article was available when you needed it. Friendships gone bad are some of the hardest issues to deal with. Wishing you well with your situation. Your story is very relevant to a current friendship of mine.
The relationship has always been a bit skewed, but I tend to be the optimist. Hi Lisa, What you are going through is never easy. All I can sugget is for you to follow your heart. If the relationship has turned too toxic for you to deal with or your feelings have been hurt beyond repair, it is time to walk away. Thank God you walked away. You became the dumping site, not the friend who was there through thick and thin.
My high school friend and I became so close, that we were thought of, as brothers. After HS, we lost contact with each other, but often times I would think of him, and the close friendship we had enjoyed. About 40 years later, we found each other through the internet. We renewed our friendship, and all went well for a couple of years. We were happy, or so I thought. We were both Behavior Therapist, and our discussions were very enlightening. On one occasion, he became belligerent, and appeared out of control.
I tried to reason with him, but to no avail. I was not going to allow him to take me down that particular road he had chosen, so I did what needed to be done. I told him that the past two years had brought back great memories, but that we could never be friends again. Of course he became very angry, cursed me out, and began spewing expletives at my family, my wife, his ex-wife, and my beliefs. So glad that I was able to open my eyes in time.
Do I miss our friendship? Yes, the one we had when we were younger. I really appreciate reading about your experience. Another very thought-provoking post Wendy. Thanks for sharing something quite personal and giving us your insight into this very touchy subject. I have experienced a similar situation, ditto the closeness, the shared experiences, the bonding with our kids etc. I began to feel uncomfortable but tried to be supportive he was also a very close friend.
At the time, my 22 year marriage was unraveling rather spectacularly and she knew it but it was all all about her. I foolishly thought she would support me too. Then she announced one day that they were moving. She wanted to keep in touch, in fact we did go and visit them once. That was all that mattered. I have long moved on and long forgiven her. Also that she befriended my ex-husband on Facebook. I soon came to learn who my real friends were and still are.
And yes, I agree so much with Kym about friends coming into your life for a season. Some do, and others remain. Sherri, thanks so much for sharing your experience. I agree that the way Kym put it about firendship is a perfect way to look at friendships in general. Have a wonderful day yourself. I was 21 then and am 60 now and there are times when I wonder what happened to. Sorry you had such an awful experience. Wishing you all the best and many happy times ahead. I was only talking about this on Friday with my niece.
I have tended to be a bit slow on the exit — fearing hurting the other person, and avoiding my own pain — however I realise that is like pulling a band aide off slowly — it prolongs the discomfort. When we let someone go there is always a new experience awaiting us.
Christine — I send you love and healing light — and feel to mention Louise Hays work — You can heal you Life. Kym, your comments are always so thoughtful and full of good advice. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts. You always add such kindness to the discussions. I had to walk away relatively recently. I felt incredibly guilty doing it, but found that the person, for various reasons, was incapable of telling the truth. I went through therapy with her, but it seemed to only make it worse.
Because of the life she has led, she has developed a pattern of lying, even about small things, to create the world she needs to believe in. I felt manipulated after a while. My friend saw herself as a victim and it was exhausting. A person who is that entrenched in lying can never have a real relationship, even with themself. It is a no-win situation trying to be friends.
I met a long-lost relative when we moved here; I was in my 40s and she was almost twenty years older. Her grandchildren maybe dropped by. But it was rare until two years ago when in a new place the caretaker changed and one day the new man let himself into her apartment for some reason when she was home.
She started packing everything in suitcases because things were going missing. She got a motion sensor camera installed and never caught anyone on film. She became a major drain, calling often: I drove an hour into the city several times to help her look for stolen items on several occasions — and they always turned up.
One day, somewhat exasperated, I told her she should just unpack and put things back where they belong. She was going to crack up if she lived like this. And that was it. In May I was diagnosed with leukemia and it really blew me away. I wrote her a note saying I had cancer of the blood. Her daughter visited her and explained.
Then her brother-in-law died alone in his house and she phoned to rattle away all about that. She mentioned my illness; it distressed her. I explained that cancer of the blood is leukemia. And that was our last conversation.
I should phone her, but have so much enjoyed my freedom! Should I call her up and try to patch things up again, for the sake of the good years? Or should I leave well enough alone? Hi Christine, first I would just like to say that I am so very sorry to hear about your illness. As for your situation, I think you need to take care of you. So much of what you said sounds so hurtful and one-sided. You have gone above and beyond and are still struggling to have a relationship.
Now, especially with your illness, it is so important for your physical and emotional health to find peace. You need to clear yourself from toxic people and situations and surround yourself with loving people. At this point, you really need to. Otherwise, you will have little to offer and will feel resentment.
I mean this in a caring way not a selfish me, me, me way. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed. Wendy McCance is a Michigan based freelance writer and social media consultant. You're still my sister, Even if we are not blood related Even if there's no paper or information on a computer Saying we are From the day that I first knew you, Your heart was pure and kind; Your smile was sweet and innocent, Your wit was well refined.
I wanted to send a longtime friend a Valentine poem and "accidentally" came across this beautiful poem that expressed my thoughts so perfectly. We met as teenagers almost 50 years ago and We are always by each other, never leaving.
We are best friends, never deceiving. Do you remember, when we were young, those promises we made. The promise to be there for each other, no matter night or day. The promise to keep secrets, no matter what they are.
I got the news I had cancer. My best friend of 31 years left me because she couldn't handle me being sick. It's been almost a year now and after doing 14 rounds of chemotherapy, every two It has meant so much Having you as a friend You will always be a part of me Until the end I read this poem and it hit the spot.
A very special lady that means the world to us is leaving the work place, and we just wanted her to know how we feel about her. She is the greatest, a We met when we were young, friends ever since, always there for me, always there for you, Hi I have a bestfriend who I think of as a sister. I met her two years ago and we bonded so easily, we call each other sisters.
Our familes except each other and get along really well We all have many types of friends, And in our life they come and go. But if we can understand their roles, Then it can be easier to let some go
Poems For Close Lifetime Friends. Just because you're grown up, doesn't mean you don't need someone to confide in. In fact, logic dictates that the opposite is true. Long Term Friendship Quotes, Quotations & Sayings Showing search results for Long Term Friendship Quotes, Quotations & Sayings Note: These are the closest results we could find to match your search. 29 F / looking for a long term, constant friend (www.aftervisitingfriends.comriend) submitted 1 month ago by jespsbeb. Hi! Thanks for checking out my post. I am a 29 year old female going through depression, stress and anxiety. I would very much like to have a constant friend who I can talk to within the day talking about random stuff and perhaps help each.