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Skip to main content. Log In Sign Up. The Female Brain is one of the most-talked-about books of the year. Yet undoubtedly this book will make feminists vested in denying sex dif- ferences uncomfortable. Her ideas are certain to spark contro- versy from some doctors and social scientists who think books like this undercut women and reinforce old gender stereotypes. Brizendine is at her best when describing the neurochemical underpinnings of pas- sionate love.

I am so not kidding. Of course, knowledge is power. While this book will be of interest to anyone who wonders why men and women are so different, it will be particularly useful for women and parents of girls. This is going to be a bumpy ride. This book is not intended to take the place of medical advice from a trained med- ical professional. Neither the publisher nor the author takes any responsibility for any possible consequences from any treatment, action, or application of medicine, herb, or preparation to any person reading or following the information in this book.

I am very grateful to those who have read and critiqued drafts of this book: I would also like to thank the individuals and private foundations that have supported my work: I owe her the greatest debt of gratitude. I am especially grateful to Amy Hertz, vice president and publisher of Morgan Road Books, who had a vision for this project from the be- ginning and kept demanding excellence and crafting revisions to cre- ate a narrative in which the science comes alive.

I also want to thank my son, Whitney, who tolerated this long and demanding project with grace and made important contributions to the teen chapter.

Weighs options, makes decisions. P refrontal C ortex PFC: The queen that rules the emotions and keeps them from going wild. It puts the brakes on the amygdala. Larger in women, and matures faster in teen girls than in boys by one to two years. The center that processes gut feelings. Larger and more active in women.

The conductor of the hormonal symphony; kicks the go- nads into gear. Starts pumping earlier at puberty in females. The wild beast within; the instinctual core, tamed only by the PFC.

Produces hormones of fertility, milk production, and nurturing behavior. Helps turn on the mommy brain. Testosterone —fast, assertive, focused, all-consuming, mascu- line; forceful seducer; aggressive, unfeeling; has no time for cud- dling.

Vasopressin —secretive, in the background, subtle aggressive male energies; brother to testosterone, brother to oxytocin makes you want to connect in an active, male way, as does oxytocin. Androstenedione —the mother of testosterone in the ovaries; supply of sassiness; high-spirited in youth, wanes at menopause, dies with the ovaries. They help guide nurturing, social, sexual, and aggressive behaviors.

Out of the thirty thousand genes in the human genome, the less than one percent variation between the sexes is small. To the observing eye, the brains of females and males are not the same. Male brains are larger by about 9 percent, even after correcting for body size. In the nineteenth century, scientists took this to mean that women had less mental capacity than men.

Women and men, how- ever, have the same number of brain cells. The cells are just packed more densely in women—cinched corsetlike into a smaller skull. For much of the twentieth century, most scientists assumed that women were essentially small men, neurologically and in every other sense except for their reproductive functions.

When you look a little deeper into the brain differ- ences, they reveal what makes women women and men men. Until the s, researchers paid little attention to female physiol- ogy, neuroanatomy, or psychology separate from that of men. While enrolled at each of these in- stitutions, I learned little or nothing about female biological or neuro- logical difference outside of pregnancy.

As a resident in psy- chiatry, I became fascinated by the fact that there was a two-to-one ra- tio of depression in women compared with men.

No one was offering any clear reasons for this discrepancy. Because I had gone to college at the peak of the feminist movement, my personal explanations ran toward the political and the psychological. I took the typical s stance that the patriarchy of Western culture must have been the cul- prit.

It must have kept women down and made them less functional than men. I started to think that something bigger, more basic and biological, was going on. It appeared that the chemical changes at puberty did something in the brain to trigger more depression in women.

In all menstruating women, the female brain changes a little every day. Some parts of the brain change up to 25 percent every month. Things get rocky at times, but for most women, the changes are manageable.

These thoughts felt real and solid, and these women acted on them as though they were reality and would last forever—even though they arose solely from hormonal shifts in their brains. As soon as the tides changed, they were back to their best selves. Each hormone state—girlhood, the adolescent years, the dating years, motherhood, and menopause—acts as fertilizer for dif- ferent neurological connections that are responsible for new thoughts, emotions, and interests.

His is like a mountain that is worn away imperceptibly over the millennia by glaciers, weather, and the deep tectonic movements of the earth.

Hers is more like the weather itself—constantly changing and hard to predict. New brain science has rapidly transformed our view of basic neu- rological differences between men and women. Earlier scientists could investigate these differences only by studying the brains of cadavers or the symptoms of individuals with brain damage. As a result, scientists have documented an astonishing array of structural, chemical, genetic, hormonal, and functional brain differ- ences between women and men.

They use differ- ent brain areas and circuits to solve problems, process language, expe- rience and store the same strong emotion. Brain struc- ture and chemistry have everything to do with why this is so. In a German study, researchers conducted brain scans of men and women while they mentally rotated abstract, three- dimensional shapes.

This fact merely meant that it took women longer to get to the same answer. It also showed that females perform all the cognitive functions males perform—they just do so by using different brain circuits. Under a microscope or an f MRI scan, the differences between male and female brains are revealed to be complex and widespread. In the brain centers for language and hearing, for example, women have 11 percent more neurons than men.

The principal hub of both emotion and memory formation—the hippocampus—is also larger in the fe- male brain, as is the brain circuitry for language and observing emo- tions in others. This means that women are, on average, better at expressing emotions and remembering the details of emotional events. Men, by contrast, have two and a half times the brain space devoted to sexual drive as well as larger brain centers for action and aggression.

Perhaps three to four times on her hottest days. These basic structural variances could explain perceptive differ- ences. One study scanned the brains of men and women observing a neutral scene of a man and a woman having a conversation.

The female brains did not have any activation in the sexual areas. The female brains saw the situation as just two peo- ple talking.

Men also have larger processors in the core of the most primitive area of the brain, which registers fear and triggers aggression—the amygdala. Though we live in the modern urban world, we inhabit bodies built to live in the wild, and each female brain still carries within it the ancient circuitry of her strongest foremothers, en- gineered for genetic success but retaining the deeply wired instincts developed in response to stress experienced in the ancient wild.

Our stress responses were designed to react to physical danger and life- threatening situations. Now couple that stress response with the mod- ern challenges of juggling the demands of home, kids, and work without enough support, and we have a situation in which women can perceive a few unpaid bills as a stress that appears to be life- threatening. This response impels the female brain to react as though the family were endangered by impending catastrophe.

The male brain will not have the same perception unless the threat is of imme- diate, physical danger. These basic, structural variances in their brains lay the groundwork for many everyday differences in the behavior and life experiences of men and women.

Biological instincts are the keys to understanding how we are wired, and they are the keys to our success today. Without that recognition, biology becomes destiny and we will be helpless in the face of it.

Biology does represent the foundation of our personalities and behavioral tendencies. The brain is nothing if not a talented learning machine. We can alter that reality and use our intelligence and determi- nation both to celebrate and, when necessary, to change the effects of sex hormones on brain structure, behavior, reality, creativity—and destiny.

In January , Lawrence Summers, then president of Harvard University, shocked and enraged his colleagues—and the public—when in a speech to the National Bureau of Economic Research he said: And that is true with respect to attributes that are and are not plausibly, culturally determined. At the same time, as testosterone takes over the male brain, boys grow less communicative and become obsessed about scoring—in games, and in the backseat of a car. At the point when boys and girls begin deciding the trajectories of their careers, girls start to lose interest in pursuits that require more solitary work and fewer interactions with others, while boys can easily retreat alone to their rooms for hours of computer time.

From an early age, my patient Gina had an extraordinary aptitude for math. She relished the mental puzzles involved in solving engineering problems, but she missed daily contact with people, so she was considering a career change. These are value decisions that are actually shaped by hormonal effects on the female brain compelling connection and communication.

All of this is hardwired into the brains of women. These are the talents women are born with that many men, frankly, are not. Men are born with other talents, shaped by their own hormonal reality. It draws on my twenty years of clinical experi- ence as a neuropsychiatrist.

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The power of monogamy: 10 surprising claims regarding modern love - The Globe and Mail

It sometimes feels like modern society is just determined to forget this," said Johnson, referring to the high rates of solo dwellers in North America. Census figures released last fall showed that People now often depend on romantic love as their main source of social support. Romantic love is a bonding attachment like that of a mother and child's. Our brains are designed to use the people we love as physiological and emotional safety cues to make the world a safer place.

What our society does with that is, as children we have parents, and then we have life partners as we get older. These are the bonds that we count on," explained Johnson.

Emotional dependency is healthy, not 'clingy' and pathological. She cites the physical and mental-health implications of social isolation and loneliness, from increased risk of anxiety, strokes and heart attacks to elevated heart rate and increased levels of the stress hormone cortisol, which impacts the immune system. People are at their best when coupled up, not isolated. If you're securely connected you're more assertive, more trusting, confiding … you're better at dealing with ambiguity.

Beyond health, the benefits of monogamy extend to "emotional balance," says Johnson. Closeness and independence are two sides of the same coin. Attachment styles can change, depending on their partner. The thinking used to be that we receive a relationship template from our parents, a model we would then use our whole lives.

Newer research suggests "we're adaptable animals," says Johnson. Friends-with-benefits relationships don't "make sense" as a survival code, says Johnson. The trouble with polyamorous arrangements, she says, is they don't fulfill the physiological bonding needs people have for "someone in the universe to depend on, who we come first with.

The trouble with that is it's endless: You need more and more performance and sensation because you're emotionally numb," said Johnson. Porn is a lesson in how to be a really bad lover.

They're on their little screens almost half of the time," says Johnson. She argues that technology should be used as a tool, not a replacement for more intentional relationships. Face-to-face conversation is an essential in human life. Big nuts, seriously, and disregard the women, and get strong with your own company. You find that just being a better you attract the kind of chicks you want to knock up.

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How am I gonna get all that stuff without spilling the beans? Seriously how am I ever supposed to trust anyone again? I knew him for a year and a half and I never had a clue. I didn't even know his real NAME. I wrote him letters while we were apart and gave him Christmas cards for his family addressed to, you know, "The Jones Family" when their last name was.. The fact that our relationship was so emotionally based confuses me the most. If he loved me so much how could he have ever let it get this far if he didn't have bad intentions from the start?

The thought of him sleeping with me, and now realizing he was driving home to his wife and sleeping with her it makes me feel ill. The I knew would never do that. The I knew had not had sex in 5 years because he didn't believe in sex outside of a relationship and he hadn't dated in that because he had been betrayed, cheated on during an engagement.

And he knew I had issues with depression and had been suicidal before and he pursued me anyway. He never thought, oh shit I can't fuck this one up. He'd cook me dinner while I was at my group therapy. Basiy talking about what a great guy he was. Are you kidding me??? Looking for a petite ebony. Looking for Preakness Date. Possible to be Monogamous Friends with Benefits? Or asking too much? I got drunk and slept with what I thought was a good friend. In the morning, we both realized that we might have feelings for each other.

I moved in with him and we lived together for quite awhile. He treated me better than any man ever has. Took me out on nice dates, would text just to say he was thinking of me, always gave me nice little compliments, etc. Then he dropped the bombshell: He was trying to get his life in order and didn't want to be in a serious relationship right now. So I moved out, got my own apartment and stopped sleeping with him.

We still hung out but it was painful for me, so I told him not to be worried because I was going to distance myself for awhile.

Well, on my birthday we started sleeping together again. This lasted for three months. Towards the end I thought things were getting pretty serious. He was extremely intimate with me, even in public, to the point where our friends noticed and were asking if we were officially together yet.

But then I started to get a strange feeling in my gut. He would make plans to hang out with me, and then blow me off at the last minute to go out drinking with his buddies.

Be Cool () Friends with Benefits () () Hide and Seek () The Hitchhiker's Guide to . White Nights () Planet 51 () Fever Cold () Lost in Yonkers () Hable con ella (). Against this, Gerard Winstanley and the Diggers believed in monogamy, but. one based on . enragés. This exposed Robespierre and his friends to a devastating attack from seek to be loyal to God and humanity are requested to take part in this world struggle for [51] When the war ended and the Weimar Republic. therefore garner the benefits of each. . partner. Regarding gender, women had a greater chance of finding these acts to be .. likely than males to experience anxiety (Yonkers & Gurguis, ). . Being in a committed, monogamous relationship while Having an intimate emotional friendship with someone Page