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Like when we were dating and I was full of life and flirty and funny. I remind myself every day that I have a lot to be grateful for. Yes he works a lot, but he is successful, a hard worker, and a great provider. I am definitely thankful that he spends his time working instead of with another woman! As far as my part, I need to make peace, and be understanding. Well, I notice that every post on here just starts the same way……in the beginning it great and sex all the time and then…..

Maybe the the real problem is people feel trapped after they tie the knot and if they always just dated commitment to each other would still be free and because of love only. I never thought id be the type who steps out from his wife.

My wife has a mental condition. Sometimes shes the woman i fell in love with. But other times she isnt. I cant be spontanious or suprising because she unexpected event causes a downwards spiral in her mental processes and she shuts down.

And it kills me inside. So i learned to suppress that side of myself. Dont think i havent tried to get help. Weve got to 4 different therapists and each time she got embarassed and stormed out, leaving me there, totally awkward. Ive tried speaking to her, but that depresses her and she doesnt get what im trying to say. And ive started to feel i cant talk to her about that…. Ive got no intention of leaving, because when she IS herself things are awsome and im happy…..

And this isnt somthing she can control. Sure, she has control over whether she wants help or not. This whole situation has caused a strain on my family as well. Im scared to talk to any of them about my marriage because i know what they think.

They dont like her. So ive stopped seeing them. Because despite it all i do love her. Im also the only one that works. Shes too scared to work and cant hold down a job. So in retrospect im the one doing everything. Ive been so depressed untill i met my other woman. Shes the happy place i go to when i need an escape. We both know alot about eachothers lives. And theres no desire to leave to be together. Just good times, good sex, and good friendship. And im happier at home and better able to support my wife.

People can think what they will. I absolutely admit my actions. But im not sorry. Because this has helped me in so many ways. All i can say to those who DO judge, i used to be just like you. You never know what your capable of untill your pushed there. Dont judge untill youve worn the shoes and walked the road. Married 23 years to the same woman. Had an affair after 20 years.

No it was my fault in her eyes. Then She went back to school. And essentially what was already a cold bed at night, suddenly turned arctic cold. I went back to school and found myself in the fancy of a woman who was experiencing the same with her husband, as I with my wife. I ask this of you women, who stand in judgment over me, if your husband abandoned you as my wife has me, what would you do.

I was 38 when I divorced my wife and daughter. This cousin brother of mine was 23 and had a kid with his girlfriend now his wife with 2 kids. He seduced me and we started having body relationship with him and tried different ways like oral, back and front. I left him for some years thinking he will concentrate on his wife and family but he keeps coming back to me claiming I am his second partner.

He says his wife does not satisfy his sexual desires in the bedroom. Though he loves his wife now 31 while he is 37 he still claims he loves and can not leave me. We end up fighting at times and breaking up but months or years later he comes back for me and we live together in our relationship. He loves me so much and I love him too. We have promised to live as couples for life. As I read these posts, it breaks my heart to hear about how unhappy men or women can be in marriage.

It always takes two people to have a life together. Yes, marriage has its ups and downs. That comes from within. I was married for 34 yrs and I have really tried to look internally to see my faults. Sex was not one of them. I loved being with my man. He is a pilot and I never did anything but support him.

He cheated on me multiple times and begged my forgiveness. I did forgive him and trusted him over and over. That was my fault. I believed the best in him. He told me I was his only love and best friend. Then the girl he had his first affair with over 26 yrs ago, she was 15 he was 30, we had lost our 6 yr old daughter to cancer. He cheated while I went on to get my nursing degree. We also have 3 other now grown kids and this has devastated them and they have lost respect for their dad.

We lost our home, our family and all assets. I now live in a small trailer and am starting over. He is still a pilot but is not getting any younger. Was all this worth it. I feel sorry for him because when you just sleep around you lose a part of yourself.

It is like putting a band aid on a huge wound. Honor and integrity are of great value. Marriage can be a wonderful and awesome thing and fun but it seems to me that the thrill of lies and living a double life can make us feel like James bond but it not real nor honorable.

To hurt and abandon your family is a horrible thing. It is not something I would advocate. Women who run after married men are home wreckers and that same man who left his wife will do the same to her. I pray for him and hope he will find happiness not in the women he sleeps with but in himself and knowing doing the right thing is so worth it.

DM, this is the most interesting comment I have read thus far. I suppose because the yesterday I found out that my husband was cheating with another woman on the job and we all work together. The end of this month would have made 2 years of marriage so I got nothing on you as far as the years.

Yet still it is so heart breaking because of the time frame that I found out. I am relieved to finally know that I was not crazy and quite sane. Everyone has their own beliefs about marriage and many excuses to the reasons why we as human behave the way we do.

It is challenging not just for men but for women as well in marriages. What stands out the most is just how strong of a person you are to not mentally search for a reason to misbehave, but to find that will power that leads to respect for self 1st and foremost in order to present that respect for someone else. If you are brave enough to commit yourself to a marriage, then you should be willing no matter what to accept the challenges before you.

People get married for what ever reasons but you do have some sort of an idea of what your getting yourself into with whom you choose. For better or for worst in marriage vows has been taken way out of content. Most married individuals think that for better or for worst means if I cheat, abuse, or manipulate, embarrass, even disrespect my spouse, that spouse should be willing to forgive and accept my mistake. Well that is not the way it works.

If your old enough to know right from wrong, then you should be willing to accept the consequences at hand. I am totally against what the other person in the situation at the time of infidelity accepting what ever they feel their purpose of gain may be by not thinking highly of themselves and instead stoop to such a low level of no integrity, nor respect.

Anyone who runs after anyone that is married period is someone that is desperate, heartless and conscienceless. If a marriage is spiritually connected, honest, and whole heartened love with down right respect.

Any challenge ahead would be a breeze. People these days have no morals, respect, nor do they have understanding. They tend to confuse love for lust and a need for want. And wonder later on in life why they cant have peace or happiness. Am I mad with my husband? I was true to my vows. I feel very hurt and my emotions are everywhere. I have never cheated or much less had intentions to do so. I strongly believe that vows are sacred and it is said in binding before God.

Also their are consequences for everything done in life that is not pleasing to his eyes. What goes around comes back around 10 fold. Even though my husband has destroyed my love and trust, I pray that God guides him into becoming a better man for someone one day that would love and care for him the way he deserves.

My first husband cheated on me and I got rid of that zero and found me a hero. When I met the zero, I admit I worked, went to the gym ,cooked and all of that. I noticed the zero wanting less and less of it and I found out why. I forgave him at first after he begged and pleaded. I told that zero to leave, but I made sure I got alimony and child support in the divorce so we would be taken care of.

I have since met a wonderful man who is more handsome, smarter and makes more money than that zero. He does not cheat on me. He is at work and home when he is supposed to be, I have checked up on him because of my first marriage and he is where he supposed to be. We talk about things and get it straightened out. He loves me for who I am and I love him. We have twins together and I gained weight.

He is a good father, but not a good husband. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed. Infidelity begins at Home While the actual act of infidelity may not start right at the doorstep, it does root from there.

Affairs are Good for the Ego Deep down, men are as insecure about themselves as women. Men are Emotional Too When women are busy with bringing up the children, completing their household chores, and meeting deadlines, men tend to feel emotionally left out.

When the Boredom Sets In Married life can become dull and boring. An Eye for an Eye In many cases, an extra-marital relationship can be an act of revenge. Beware of Anger Anger and bitterness can ruin a relationship. Living in Loneliness The feeling of being lonely in a marriage can lead men to stray. Polygamy is not for Them For some men, being committed to a single relationship is not their cup of tea.

The Modern Lifestyle is a Bane for Marriages Increasing number of men are spending more time at workplaces than homes. Content Submitted by Keith — Another point of view Boredom — Men tend to get bored of their married life. Life, at times, become monotonous. The wife may be too involved with household chores and children and may not have the time for him. He is in search of excitement and finds it in another woman. If both the spouses understand each other completely and shift their attention from personal desires to the desires of their spouses, this problem can be controlled to a great extent.

A roving eye — Men are supposed to have a roving eye. They like looking and admiring other women. A neglected wife — Many women do not take care of themselves.

They go out of shape. They lose out on their figure. At home, they do not take care of their appearance or dress up properly. Naturally, a man gets fed up with his wife and prefers a better looking woman. Sexual incompatibility is also a reason why men go in for another woman. A few years down the line the husband may feel his emotional and physical needs are not being met and tends to seek the company of another woman. The husband often finds an outlet for his physical and emotional needs by having an affair with another woman.

To try out something new is often a reason given by the husband for indulging in an extra-marital affair. Easy access to female companionship is another factor which provides an opportunity for a husband to have an extra-marital affair. Often on business trips, he tends to take advantage of being with another female colleague and enters into a relationship with her. Male ego is also another factor for men to cheat upon their wives. Sometimes when male feel that their dominant position in the family is challenged, they tend to go for someone else.

Men always what to be a dominant player in a married life. These days once women start earning more than their husbands this situation gets aggravated. Peer pressure also encourages a man to cheat upon his wife. They often introduce him to other females with whom he can spend more time. A wife paying too much attention to children and household chores often forces a man to go in for relationships outside marriage.

He wants more attention and since he is not getting it at home he prefers to get it from an outsider. Melati on August 11, I agree with you, Melati. Dwight on November 17, Terry on February 2, 6: Kris on December 5, 2: Lynne on January 13, 7: Jimmy on December 8, Remarry…try to make it work assuming neither of you have already Reply. Rose on January 1, 7: Pat on January 17, 6: Ezzat on March 11, Men only cheat because of 3 reasons. Men get stuck in a boring, dead or abusive relationship due to the unfairness of divorce.

Andy John on May 27, 9: Honeymoon on May 24, 7: Sometime you need to let the bird fly if it comes back it was yours if it doesnt come back it was nevet yours… Reply.

Susie on May 27, Margo on April 28, 1: NorthernDude on June 23, 4: Well Peter, I often feel this way too and even go on to say that women are too demanding, self-entitled and are on a mad race to keep up with the Joneses and men and women both are working too many hours and blowing too much money on crud they do not need. So being single sucks. Being gay is not an option yet for me anyways.

So what the H3LL do we do? KayCee on July 1, 8: Joy on January 26, 4: Mechelle on February 16, 9: Idiot wife on April 15, 2: Love on June 23, 6: Yes, any of that might be the cause.

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