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Do you use every one in your life? You are wrong Amazing how quick you are to judge. I not alienating them from their biological father. I encourage him towards a lifyle, i offer him extra visit time. I dont make him pay his financial. You dont know me.

For such a seemingly intelligent person. I find your story a bit thin that you are so concerned about the smoking. Seems you think you know of worse and yet have not acted on this information. Thank you for appearing to try to understand. Let me explain, I guess I could have said more, but was trying to keep it short and simple.

As far as I know, he no longer drinks heavily, no longer does, and has gotten his temper under control. The smoking is the only thing thats happening now. But, the boys come home coughing and exhausted and smelling like ashetrays. He still does not really act like a truly fit father, he is selfish and lazy and irresponsible. But, as long as the are safe, I know that I cannot and should not deny him or them time together.

I know need both parents. I only limited him because he was not safe. I quit smoking because it bothered their allergies. I often have to give them breathing treatments when they come home from visiting him.

It really concerns me. I cant say anything about the junk food and the lack of sleep, I wish I could. But, its the obvious health risks that I feel like I need to be able to stop. But, just like the step dad, if the step mom doesnt require it from them and they feel like shes acting like a mom to them and they slip and call her mom, its okay. All that matters to me is that they are safe and and happy. It takes two sister. And from what I have read from you, you have not earned a Mom title.

You have earned a title I guess I should take a deep breath. You have either really misunderstood me, or you are just too far off to even be worth the time to explain it to.

I divorced him because he drank too much and because he kept us poor with no food in the fridge and because he lifted one of our sons in the air and screamed that he was going to the little son of a bitch, because he cried when his daddy screamed at him for no reason.

The wasnt 2 at the time. I let him keep the home and all the furniture and everything we had. I took custody because he was drinking and doing and sleeping around and I didnt think a 6 month old and a 2 year old should live with that. I have always been kind to him and never spoken ill of him infront of the. I dont even tell them why I left their father. I encourage him in being a father, even offer extra visit time. I dont know if youve misunderstood me here or if this that I have explained entitles you to say Im a bad mom.

If what I doing to raise my to be, strong, reaponsible young men amkes me a bad mom, Ill take it. Im only a bad mom to the standards of real idiots. Everyone who knows me, including my ex inlaws and his friends will tell you I an incredible mother. I dindt come here to defend myself. I came here to see what I can do to enforce the rights of my to their basic health while with their daddy.

Be careful that you focus on the real issue Im not saying you arent doing that now. If you get in front of a judge, the judge may see no problem with the smoking. If that isnt the real issue, then you limit your recourse. Like I said below, Im not trying to tell him how to be a good father. When they come home sick and tired, I give them breathing treatments and baths and a home cooked meal. I wash their clothes and make sure they sleep well. All Im asking is that he not get drunk or chain smoke in an enclosed vehicle.

It makes them sick. I wouldnt even bring up the other stuff to a judge. Im not asking him to parent like I do, I know he wont, its one reason for the divorce. I prioritize the over partying and everything. I just want them safe and reasonably. Not as far as I know. Why would you jump to this conclusion from just this one example? Does it matter if this is common or sensible? The fact is your friend does this so you might remember this as a lesson learned for this particular friend.

Seeing your reaction, do you have a tendency to overreact in general? All these assumptions from just this one incidence? Take a cold shower instead. Your situation required the direct approach. IF your friend values your relationship, she will adopt a standard operating procedure based on YOUR situation. This occurrence will serve as an example of why she should not treat all calls to her the same way. People are different and require different policies.

Your advice has failure written all over it You are expecting and also creating an expectation in the OPs mind that it is up to the friend to change their behavior? A behavior he as very little control over. He only has control of his own reaction. Seeing his reaction, or overreaction, he will only end up being frustrated, since he seems more into her than she is him. When people are close to us, its not too much to ask them to do something so simple as to treat our phone calls in a particular way.

At one time, I used only my cell to make LD calls and all of our contacts had our LL number, the same one for years. We only had the cell turned on when we went out, or were calling LD. When we reminded them that they should always call us on our LL, nobody got mad, they grasped the situation like a reasonable adult friend and did as we asked. After all, we are friends and they want to be able to get to us; and if calling the same number they have always used will accomplish that, thats reasonable to do.

So, once OP tells her friend to always respond to the number she is calling from, friend should be happy to do it. Actually returning a call to the calling number WOULD be the natural thing to do with no different instructions. I agree with this Your situation required the direct approach. Without details this could take on many different meanings. Thanks for the follow-up. I may agree, but sometimes people forget, so friends often times make allowances of each other.

This post came across like a first time happening, if so the OP is overreacting in my opinion. She gave a reasonable answer but the OP does not appear satisfied with it. It happens on smart phones that the top most number gets dialed unless you check and do manually. OP admitted he has not had a cell phone that long ago and does not use it often.

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