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No, Do you think he can put on armor and fight for the fairest maiden in the land and yes that could be you. I love boating, the beach, wine, Seeking friend but not marriage and fun. Really seeking forward to this.
I have a very commanding of voice and I'm told a great deal of presence. Im waiting for something casual at first but open to it becoming more. I'm tired of being lonely and want to feel something good again.
Clearly, some people are single because they choose to be. They are simply not interested in being in a serious relationship at this time in their life. Others are single due to the circumstances of their lives. But the reality is that we hold more power over our romantic destiny than we often think. To a great degree, we create the world we live in, although we are rarely conscious of this process. We can, in fact, make a choice whether to see our fate through a victimized lens or choose to be goal-directed and take power over our lives.
We can become aware of the myriad of ways we influence the reactions we get from others, even the negative reactions. So, the question for the single person looking for love is: Most people have been hurt in interpersonal relationships.
This process begins long before we start dating, in our childhoods, when hurtful interactions and dynamics lead us to put up walls or perceive the world through a filter that can negatively impact us as adults. These adaptations can cause us to become increasingly self-protective and closed off. In our adult relationships, we may resist being too vulnerable or write people off too easily. If, for example, you were raised by parents or caretakers who were negligent or cold, you may grow up feeling distrusting of affection.
You may then choose a partner who is aloof or distant. When we act on our defenses, we tend to choose less-than-ideal relationship partners. We tend to feel devastated or hurt by the repeated rejections without recognizing that we are actually seeking out this pattern.
Why do we do this? The reasons are complex and often based on our own embedded fears of intimacy. Many people have an unconscious motivation to seek out relationships that reinforce critical thoughts they have long had toward themselves and replay negative aspects of their childhoods. These may be unpleasant, but breaking with old patterns can cause us a great deal of anxiety and discomfort and make us feel strangely alien and alone in a more loving environment.
The reality is that most people can only tolerate a certain amount of closeness. We are defended about letting someone else in. Our own defenses often leave us feeling pickier and more judgmental. When viewing the world from critical or distrusting eyes, we tend to write off a range of potential partners before even giving them a chance. A friend of mine felt closed off to a man who pursued her for more than a year.
The men she was drawn to instead tended to be unreliable and emotionally distant. What she found, to her surprise, was a high-level relationship choice, a partner with whom she shared a great deal of mutual interest, and, ultimately, genuine love. We may actually find ourselves in a relationship that is so much more rewarding than those we have experienced.
They believe they want a fulfilling relationship more than anything, but they believe even more firmly that no one worthwhile would be interested in them. Our lack of confidence leaves us giving off signals of not being open, creating a catch 22 in the realm of dating. Some struggle to make eye contact or are reluctant to scan the room for who they might be attracted to. When they are drawn to someone, they may fail to pursue their strongest attractions for lack of self-esteem. A lack of self-esteem often leads to fears of competing.
We may be afraid of looking like a fool or of not being chosen. The simple truth is: It is scary to take a chance and go for what we want and compete, but when we do, we most often find it is well worth it to face our fears. We end up with a stronger sense of self, and we increase our chances of creating a relationship with the partner we really desire. With age, people tend to retreat further and further into their comfort zones.
Modern women are more and more successful, accomplished and self-sufficient, which are all extremely positive developments. Yet as both men and women get more comfortable, be it financially or practically, it is also easier for them to form a bubble from which it is difficult to emerge.
It can feel harder to take risks or put themselves out there. The encouragement we feel to stay home or stay safe often comes from our critical inner voice. Have a glass of wine. Watch that show you like.
No one will be attracted to you. We should take action and make an effort to get out into the world, smile, make eye contact and let friends know we are looking for someone. We should try new activities and even try dating diverse people as a means to discover new parts of ourselves and what makes us happy. As years pass, we often develop rulebooks for ourselves regarding dating.
When we act on rules based on our past, we can create a perpetual cycle of disappointing relationships. A woman I know once dated someone with whom she had amazing chemistry. Staying open is one of the most important things we can do when looking for a loving partner. Yes, we might get hurt but when we stop taking risks, we reduce our chances of meeting someone we could really have a future with. Relationship rules tend to go hand-in-hand with game-playing. They can lead us to act with less sincerity and authenticity, to close ourselves off from how we feel.
On the other hand, staying open and honest will lead us to find a much more authentic and substantial relationship. We all carry flaws, and these vulnerabilities are especially apparent when getting close to one another.
Thus, achieving intimacy is a brave battle, but it is one well-worth fighting for, each and every day, both within ourselves and, ultimately, within our relationships. We are animals, able to roam free when we can not be honed down one individual for the rest of our lives. Why put yourself through that? YES , totally agree Roger , at 59 still single but found better not happier to be alone than being in a few in a few bad relationships I had.
Some people stay single because they want to. Some stay single because they want their undivided attention on something other than a relationship. Some stay single becasue they are forced to care for a sick parent.
Some stay single to pursue higher education or jobs that will prevent them from focusing on a relationship. Some stay single because of devotion to God. People that are attractive are easier to love, but once that beauty is gone, good luck. People have a tendency to settle for whatever they think they can get. If those preconceived factors were not prevalent, than there is little chance of a love connection. It is really sad that people have to have a reason to love others.
It is called ego. Anyone can love a beautiful person, but I dare someone to love a ugly poor person with a low IQ, this world is fake and so are most of the people in it. No Richard, it takes work on both sides. Can someone please explain this? And why do women feel so guilty if a man is willing to go out of his way for her? She should feel lucky and happy. I did need that relationship to be healthy enough for me to honestly have expressed my negative opinions of those things rather than lie through my teeth, but what was needed was the effort.
The idea of self-sacrificial giving in action without sacrificing your character or personality is what is key. I agree with you that women today have unrealistic standards for men. As a single guy with a college degree in music with awards with secondary interests and experience in basic construction, physics, literature, philosophy and religion I find myself rather confused that the only women I have ever been able to attract have been… really messed up people.
Partnering up is about attraction,… fortunate and true, nothing unfortunate about that. Let attraction reign for partnerships. Being attracted to a gorgeous man or woman is not fake at all. That is what is fake. It is not fake to like it.
You are confused here. That is what the reality is. Not that people are fake. That just leads to further seeking of happiness with more materialistic things. After 14 years of marriage, my ex threw me out because the agency where I worked was downsized. Being in my 50s, it is very hard to find work, I went from being part of a leadership team of an agency of over employees to driving a taxi. If you can live through the bad negative yelling screaming phases and all the disgusting things then you are a true one of a kind person that should not be taken for granted or not lose that person.
God, if he exists, loves me so much that he gave me a congenital hearing impairment. Then he gave me an ugly face so I would find it difficult, if not impossible, to find a partner and would have to suffer endless rejection.
Then he gave me a weight problem and a metabolism that makes it impossible for me to lose any weight and somehow, maybe become even a tiny bit attractive to women. Yep, God loves me alright. Some people are single for years because of unwanted outsiders always melding and pro-shaping their life with out that single person even knowing. Thus, everything because fake, distorted and and that unwanted catagory becomes more of a state of mind and brain washed and scared for life.
I m single and hadnt a good sence about that,all Human fears had been taged on singles! There seems to be a particular pattern-I meet a girl, she likes me, she turns out to be selfish and verbally abusive./p>
Dodge hesitantly attends the wild party of his neighbors, Warren Rob Corddry and his wife, Diane Connie Britton , where he declines offers of sex and drugs and listens to a philosophical rant from his drunken friend Roache Patton Oswalt.
Dodge shortly returns home to reminisce about his high school sweetheart, Olivia, when he notices his neighbor Penny Keira Knightley crying on the fire escape. She has just broken up with her boyfriend, Owen, Adam Brody for making her miss her last opportunity to see her family in England. At her apartment, Penny gives Dodge three years' worth of his mail that was incorrectly delivered to her and, in the process, unwittingly tells him that his wife was having an affair.
Dodge storms off into the night, guzzling codeine -laced cough syrup and window cleaner in a suicide attempt. He wakes up in a park, with a dog tethered to his foot and a note on his sweater reading "Sorry," which becomes the dog's name.
Dodge takes Sorry home, opens the old mail, and is surprised to discover a three-month-old letter from Olivia, which explains that he was "the love of her life. Dodge and Penny abandon the self-centered Owen amid the rioters, with Dodge explaining to Penny that he knows someone who could fly her to England if she helps him find Olivia.
She agrees, and the two set off with Sorry for Dodge's hometown in Delaware. Along the way, Dodge and Penny run out of gas, share a bizarre experience with suicidal motorist Glenn William Petersen , witness the eruption of an orgy at a restaurant, have sex in a pick-up truck, and spend a night in jail.
Speck has a working satellite phone in his bunker and lets Penny contact her family. Penny and Dodge borrow a car from Speck and eventually make it to Olivia's family home. Dodge and Penny walk up toward the door of the home but find no one home and then spend the day together; they realize a mutual affection.
Penny discovers a letter from Olivia to her parents, which reveals Olivia's address. Penny and Dodge drive to Olivia's home, where Dodge leaves a letter to Olivia and expresses his feelings for Penny. Later, they discover a marriage ceremony performed at the beach; Dodge and Penny kiss and join the ceremony.
Then, they go to the house of the man who Dodge promised could take Penny to England. The man turns out to be Dodge's estranged father, Frank Martin Sheen. After making amends with Frank, Dodge puts a sleeping Penny into his father's plane, whispering to her that she is the real love of his life. Frank and Penny depart, leaving Dodge behind. Dodge returns to his apartment with Sorry; they soon enter Penny's apartment, where Dodge sets a record in her turntable and listens until the power dies.
Lighting a candle, Dodge hears Sorry whining. Penny has returned, upset that Dodge allowed her to leave; they embrace. As the two lie in bed, Penny expresses her fear of the end being so near. Dodge distracts her by asking her to tell him of her childhood. They feel and hear a deep booming sound, and Penny tells Dodge she wishes that they had known each other sooner. Dodge replies that there never would have been enough time together and professes his love for her.
When they feel and hear a second deep, booming sound, Penny panics and tells him she thought they would save each other; Dodge assures that they did.
Penny smiles as the screen fades to white and then abruptly cuts to black. Lorene Scafaria wanted to "tell the story of boy meets girl with a really ticking clock," prompted by recent events in her own life, including a "death in the family, a breakup, and a new relationship.
Having recently moved from New York to Los Angeles, the attacks left her feeling "stranded" and so she ended up getting in contact with old friends.
But it may be headed toward more. On the other hand, I want children and my wife, at bottom, does not. This other woman does, and just today we looked longingly together at another happy family.
If you do not find a way to resolve that, the underlying resentment can and usually does build to a level that can destroy a relationship and leave each person bitter.
You want to leave her because you have allowed yourself to fall in love with another woman. Your friendship deepened as you gradually began to share more about your lives, your dreams, your fears, and even those things about yourselves that hardly anyone else knows about. At some point you began to feel that she understood you like no one ever has…that you can talk to her about anything…that the connection you two have is beyond what most people ever have and that it may be that no one else has ever felt the way you do about each other.
Now things that are valid — such as your differences about children — have become so much larger and stronger motivations to you than they were even before. They loom so big that you cannot imagine staying with your wife. What you wanted before from her is now available from your lover.
The beliefs and values that kept you with your spouse are fading and your desire to be with your lover is growing stronger at a rapid and amazing rate. If you leave your wife and go with your lover, the intensity that you feel now — the emotions that both you and she expect to last happily ever after — will eventually fade. You can still care about each other, but the amazing sensations you feel now will inevitably erode into something different. When finally that happens, you will see that she is flawed as well.
You will look back on the beliefs and values that you once held dear that you violated to have her. And, if you are like the vast majority, you will come to regret your abandoning what you once held dear. You definitely have a problem with your wife that needs to be resolved. These are two separate problems. To be able to face the future with high regard for yourself, solve your problems with your wife.
After you deal with that, then make a decision about your lover. As long as you are putting your lover first, you cannot make a decision about your lover that you will be happy about ten years from now. Absolutely brilliant analysis of the situation. You keep saying the feelings in the primary relationship are more important than those in the second relationship. I agree with you on this, I understand that marriage is an important commitment. I understand that some people believe marriage to be final and sacred.
I understand that we seek the things we feel we are missing, that we want to feel complete. But feelings are feelings, and I dont believe a marriage trumps the heart. It wants what it wants. They keep saying that we are only focusing on the flaws of our spouse and the things we love about the new person. I understand that everyone has flaws, everyone! But when you know in your heart and soul that this new person you met has touched you so deeply, you love the flaws as well, in my case of course.
I already decided, maybe evn before it got so serious. Be an adult and make a decision. Live with the consequences of your actions. You just described what I am going through exactly. This has helped me tremendously. The situation sucks, because the love is very real. Hey Joe, I love that it seems you seen your affair as a big nono…. Sam, while it is true that many relationships do begin with limerence, the real issue here is whether or not you have a right to the person that you are in limerence with.
If two people are single, fall in love, and go through limerence, that is normal. Even when two people have a right to each other, limerence fades. Biologically and chemically, it has to. If someone follows their feelings and betrays their integrity, they change who they are as a person. They will turn into a person that they no longer like. My marriage of 29 years has never been the marriage that I dreamed of. I find myself to be more of a father-figure to my wife than that of a husband.
I have never liked this role. My wife and I have had many discussions about this before. For all these years, I have just accepted the way things are. I met a lady online 8 months ago. She seemed really nice and intelligent. We have been really good friends and can talk about anything. We have shared so much between us and it has turned out to be a beautiful friendship. For that, I am very grateful! She seems to be a perfect match for me, and she is everything that my wife is not.
We are supposed to meet in person for a few drinks soon. I am very afraid of what can happen when we actually meet. I can see how this situation could go really bad, really fast. I have to admit that I am torn right now, not knowing what to do. Should I pursue my happiness with this other person or should I stay in this less than adequate marriage and acknowledge the fact that it is all just a dream. The temptation is there. I never thought it was possible, certainly not possible for me.
But here I am. I have been married for ten years. My husband and I have had many issues in our marriage. For the last three years I have connected with a man I met when I was 15 years old. I talk to him everyday on fb. I have fallen madly in love with him. He lives in Boston and me Toronto.
I often fall asleep thinking of him. I feel so stuck and just want to cry. Im married for 16 years. I dont feel a connection to my husband anymore. I got in contact with an old guy friend and I think we have fallen in love. My husband cheated on me 6 months before our marriage although that was years ago. The feelings and connection with my friend is amazing I feel we were meant to be together.
My husbands knows of the affair and I have no contact with my friend but its killing me, I miss. Cant leave my mamarriage because we have financial commitment and a 10 year old daughter.. You may see money, or financial commitments being a part in this, in reality it is an excuse to stay with your husband. Your child together may also be a factor but neither are the issue. First off what led you to reconnect? Was a simple Hey old friend… or did you put yourself in that situation.
Two different things with different purposes. From my perspective it seems as if you have some still untesolved issue with your husband. Either for the infidelity he committed or something else. Either way though that is yet another excuse you have given yourself to ease the pain that you are committing emotional cheating.
Before I would run with a man that was willing to help destroy a marriage, i would try to rekindle those feelings that helped rebuild it after your husband cheated. Or because in his moment of weakness he knew the regret, and wants to save the marriage. You both should seek help, to cheat on one another, physically or emotionally shows a serious underlying issue. Its really embarrassing to actually say this, but here goes… I have been married to my husband going on 5 years.
We were in our upper teens when we got married. Within our first year of marriage he had talked to another woman online and I caught him up in it. I let it go and tried to work it out with him, after all it was just our first year.
So a few months later I got pregnant with our baby girl. I thought everything was getting back to normal. My trust for him was finally starting to build back up. I found a fake facebook he had created with a fake name, but he told women who he really was. I hacked into the email he had used and seen that he had been talking sexually to multiple women that knew him and I was married. I also found out that the messages dated back to almost a year ago.
I let all that go and once again tried to forgive and forget. But my feelings for him were slowly starting to fade it seemed. We recently moved out of town due to a new job he got. Just in a couple weeks of living in our new town, I was introduced to a friend he had years ago. We hit it off and became good friends. We started talking and im not sure how it came up but we told each other we liked each other.
We started eventually texting and he started coming over and just hanging out while my husband was working. Things to physical fast. We talked about our feelings and he knows what had happened in the past with me and my husband.
We did end up going all the way but we talked and said that we need to both slow it back down. I am just so torn on what to do with my marriage.
Every kiss and every touch puts thoughts from the past into my head. I wonder everyday if more went on other than what he has told me. I feel out of love with him. Our daughter is 2 now and I feel like if I was to leave it would destroy everything. Our new house and his new job. And his friend ship with the other man. I honestly feel stuck like im obligated to stay. And I feel like of I was to leave I would end up with nothing. I dont feel pretty anymore with him.
This other guy has made me feel so good and he has done everything and said everything that a woman wants to hear. As of now him and I are just in a friendship but it makes me wonder what would happen if I was to leave my husband. Would I be making a mistake or is this other guy truly the one for me. Is there a way I can message you via e-mail? I am in the same boat and would like to converse with you if I may. I am 30 years old, have been married for 6 years this past July, my husband and I have a beautiful 5 year old.
I came across this site because I am searching for solutions to my problems currently. I met my husband in church, due to the marriage processes in our church, we never had a chance to properly get to know each other better. So in a space of 7 months we got married. My marriage was averagely good, I fell pregnant on my honeymoon night, so immediately after the wedding I was pregnant.
I had my daughter and after that my husband and I were heavily involved in our church ministry. Beginning of last year my husband resigned from work and went back to university to study full time, as a result we do not see each other except for weekends and school holidays.
When he went back to school, I started realising that I married a complete stranger, we had never spent real time together before we got married and with the baby and the ministry we were always busy, so when he went back to school I started realising just how different we were. I truly am not even show if I love or ever loved him, or my whole marriage was out of family and church pressure.
I do not blame anyone because I was old and am responsible for my own choices. Now I have recently met someone, who is the world to me, I do not ever recall being this happy in my life before. We share the same passions, we laugh together, his presence in my life has changed me.
Besides having met someone now, I was already trying to find means of leaving my husband. I feel I am very unfair to him because I really do not love him the way he loves me. I believe that there is someone special out there for him to love him and cherish but that person is not me. How can I walk away without hurting our daughter, our families, our church. Hi, I am almost in the same position. I have been married for 12 years now. I got married when I was My husband and I are in to church ministry and our parents too.
We have 3 beautiful children right now. Im not sure if I love my husband or have I ever love him. Right now im busy trying to find some sort of fulfilment in a lot of things. Every time I look at him I feel so sorry for him because I feel like im a hypocrite. I am lost I need help. I also came across this site because Im looking for help.
My situation is a bit more intense. The catch 22 here is, it is my husband friend as well. We have been seeing each other for 4 years and during that time he has gotten married and had a child. Even with his union, we still have not stopped seeing each other. He tells me he is in love with me. Not sure if I believe him. As for me all I do is think about him. I think he is the first person I have ever been in love with.
I have tried to end it so many times and find myself right back with him days later. I cry so much over this. Cry over hurting so many people if we ever get caught. Cry over loving him, when all I want is to fall in love with my husband. Three years ago, I caught him texting an ex of his — they texted literally 24 hours a day, for 30 days before I caught him. I stayed with him and I have never held it over his head. At the time, I had become detached from our marriage and was just going through the motions, so I completely understood how he got to the point of reaching out to someone else.
It never went beyond kissing, but I fell for him so fast. We still email and check on one another, provide advice, etc. I ended the marriage. I met my now spouse a few months after we separated i felt it was what i needed at the time now being married to her i feel i made a huge mistake and she does not make me feel the way my former spouse made me feel.
My former spouse is not remarried, although she has expressed that she wish things could have been different and would have worked through the prior marriage. Or just end the marriage and be honest with her although i would like a chance with my former spouse i would spend time alone thinking about my life and how quickly things spun out of control. Have been for two years and now have a child together.
I lost my virginity to him and feel like I owe my life to him. As we became friends, I fell more in love with him. My husband is a good man, but he has a dark past that is starting to shine through finally.. His persona is becoming more violent and inpatient, especially towards our daughter. And when the other guy is around, he spoils my daughter and plays with her!! With never feeling like I was in love but doing what I should do, put up with a lot of crap from my husband- cussing me, lying, n cheating, flirting.
Married for 10 years, mostly unhappy. We have a 7 year old son, and until very recently they barely had a relationship. I met someone this summer and my feelings for him are growing stronger by the day. I want to leave my husband — not for the new man, but for me. I have been here standing by his side through all of it. With his friends and his family I am constantly being thanked and being praised for how strong I am to stand by his side for everything.
Which brings us to a little while ago when in enters someone from my past. Sweetheart has seen me at my worst and even though we were only friends he always made sure I was ok. It was clear right from the day we met that we shared some pretty intense feelings for one another. We never got our shot due to one or both of us being in other relationships. Eventually I made the decision that I needed to try and move on from sweetheart and shortly after that is when I met my significant other.
And then last week he started paying more attention to me … which fits the normal pattern every time I start to really think about our relationship and if I should just do what I feel is right for me and end things my significant other does a and starts treating me the way I have always longed to be treated.
Especially since he has come back into my life. I love Sweetheart I always have we just have never had the chance to be together. And I know Sweetheart loves me as he has told me a few times since coming back into my life. Which brings us to tonight. Sweetheart proposed to me.
I know that hurt Sweetheart and I hated hurting him like that. Any advice is appreciated. I stopped seeing the other woman without explanation. Something was wrong with me and no one could figure out what!
I went to bed and spent the next 18 yrs in bed fighting for my life. My wife has done absolutely nothing wrong! Thoughts of the other woman are eating at me. I went on Facebook and found her. She has 2 adult daughters. The man she was married to, is engaged to another woman.
So I assume she is divorced. I messaged her on Facebook, no reply. Shortly thereafter her page was taken down. I know her home address and phone number. I want to send her a real letter,on paper and in an envelope.
I really want to know about her journey in life thus far, possibly reacquainting ourselves or developing a friendship. Is all of this crazy? What kind of trouble could I get myself into? These feelings to see her are tearing me apart! My husband starting talking to an acquaintance from high school in Feb It has quickly escalated into an emotional affair. She is jealous of me yet when I try to make them see each other she lives 6 hours away and is married too Unhappily supposedly she told my husband he is her soul mate sends him inspirational messages everyday.
My husband says he is in love with her but loves me and never intended to leave. She says it would tear her heart apart if he left his children. I dont know what to do. She says she is a woman of Jesus on her Facebook.
She wont let him go. My husband says he loves me but wont look me in the eye and yes we still have sex. He used to be such a good man. Please I need advice. First, an affair with an ex, even emotional, is a different animal. Find it, and maybe it can help. We each move through three major phases in life. This is the first comment ive seen regarding rekindling with exes. I have a deep sorted history with my ex whom i was engaged to and lived with.
We met when i was fifteen and just going through a horrible and traumatic split between my own parents and his divorcing as well a pastors son and infidelity splitting up his family. We met inv very conservative boarding school. At any rate, we ended up losing our virginity to eachother, getting pregnant at 18, miscarriage, abandonment by my own parents, subsequient abusive relationship of my moms, me being raped by a co worker…we walked through all this together as best friends first and foremost.
We new every inch of eachother inside and out anf had the kind of chemistry that doesnt fade. Our chemistry wasnt just physical…it was so emotional. I loved him with every single cell of my being-physical, emotional, spiritual. However, as we grew, he was a young twenty something who grew up in a staunchly conservative home and desperately wanted to party and drink and have fun all the time he had the life of the party personality-always ready for a good time, jokester.
I was a broken girl who also grew up religiously conservative and desperately wanted him to stay home with me because i didnt want to party and we really just matured at different rates. I had pictures of us all over the place. We were literally addicted to one another. I met my husband who was in his junior year of dental school my ex had yet to complete his associates degree and had no clue what was doing with his life-just surviving.
I was the rebellious wander lust free spirit of my family as compared to my rule following sister in dental hygeine school. My family never liked my ex as he was four years older than me when we first got together…and remember i was only 15…they saw him for what he was…an irresponsible kid.
They loved my now husband more than me i think. He admitted to me when dating that he had struggled with porn addiction. But that he was finally free of it. I periodically would ask him if he was feeling tempted or had fallen to it and he would always say no. When i was just early pregnant with our second child they are three years apart i caught him looking at it. It was a mess for a minute but he was apologetic and we went to therapy. I slowly was regaining trust in him.
About a year later my four year old son opened the bathroom door and i was right behind him catching my husband in what he claims was live porn chat. I was devastated and so angry. I threatened to leave. He was again so remorseful, this time did counseling by himself. Supposedly finally conquered it. About two years later he confessed to me only because his name was going to be printed in the local paper along with all other customers names that he had visited an asian sauna that got busted for prostitution.
He claims to this day that he went for an actual back massage and thats all he got, even tho the police report said there was no actual massage therapy equipment in the place and that no person was going There for legitimate massage treatments. I have stayed because of two reasons and two only. They love their daddy very much and our family unit. Also i struggle with feeling that it is a sin as a christian to divorce.
Over the years my ex and i have communicated briefly…never seeing one another. Its always stayed platonic but i always knew it was dangerous territory as we both had unspoken, unresolved feelings.
I then cut off all communication out of respect for my husband. For a coulple of years. But ove the years i go through times of missing our connection so deeply it pains me-its something my husband and i have simply never had. Husband and i are farther apart than ever…essentially just co parents…and i had a dream about my ex the other night.
I have had MANY over the years but i was so struck by this one, likely because of my own marital and personal issues i have lost myself entirely in my marriage and parenthood that i didnt want to wake up. I contacted him and told him about it. Every detail of our past. How hes always loved me, waited for me, our connections, on and on…emotional issues, why we broke up issues, my marital issues, and umtimately sexual talk that ended in very graphic pictures and talk sexting.
It awoke in me so much i didnt even realize was still there. I didn think i was even capable of feeling. Now i am more confused than i have ever been in 16 years.
I told my husband about some of the conversation…obviously not the worst of it…and the worst part is how calm, understanding and sad and regretful he is for his own part.
I feel so lost. Thank you for reaching out to us. We understand how pornography can have detrimental effects on marriage. Please call us at so we can help you! My husband and I have been married only a little over a year. He was 25 when we got married and I was only a month away from turning We only dated 9 months before getting engaged and waited another 9 months before getting married. In hind-sight we rushed it. I never really felt a burning passion for my husband and never really expected to.
He was and is someone I look up to and ultimately feel comfortable with. The problem is and I have talked andthiught through these feelings a hundred times and every time they get more and more confusing …I have two guys who love me deeply …one of whom I care for , but I feel is holding me back from a lot of things I want to do in my life though he tries to support them and the other? I need him in my life … But the only way he wants to be in my life is as my husband …he really has been trying..
I am a hard worker, smart, detail oriented and a successful person. This created an enemy for me at work and caused it to be horrible as he is a manipulator and used to effect on peoples opinions about me, until I met him. We have lots of common, in our core values, but he is married and I took him as a friend. I was happy to be able to be his friend and for 2 years we were, until I got engaged!
My x guy now, was bad news and I end up ending it, after 11 months. I was emotionally hurt, broken, exhausted and it was horrible. On top of that, my friend, took a step back and was away. I was deeply hurt by his distance but I thought he is giving me a space. I honestly had a thing for him since ever, but I never look at married men! It is a no situation. Now after broken my engagement slowly my friend came back and I welcomed him.. He then chose to tell me he loves me. I see it, the process you talk about in ALL..
I told him he has a wife and kids, a family he said was always enough and he was accepting life and happy with it. It created a huge problem for me and at times I became weak and told him I had feelings too. In a way his love, made be heal better, but it also hurt me a lot. We were platonic, not even flirting but the comfort and level of connection we had, made me feel bad.
I told him we have to face it, this is NOT good. I know we did nothing wrong but say: He also was regretting telling me big times. We have a great friendship and we can be blunt, totally honest and still love each other. I do want to help him and I am actually glad I can see it, heal my wounds and say finally he is not the man of my life and though I love him a lot, though I would take him if he was single, he is not and I am not going there.
We are still friends, good ones but how I will know he is not still doing it wrong? I am a positive person and I love caring and giving, naturally. I know he can have it all! I should say at times I believed he is my other half, we are different but totally the same.
He still says I complete him and we have this huge level of understanding. It is like we have the same core, in two personality and when we were friends I used to joke, we must be twins! And with him I have no fears, and feel totally safe.
I never had that before but I also accept now it is not limited to him. I wonder also if I should stop being friends with him? If it is harmful for me? I would hate that but I am OK to do it if it is needed. I want to do the best for me and him. I got married to a woman without 2 weeks after we agreed to date while inlove with some else its now 4yrs in marriage and i am still inlove with the other person. Our marriage has been on the rocks eversince we got married, thought by now things would be okay but tgey are not.
I no longer know what to do cause even when we being intimate i see the other woman. I was in a relationship for 2 years with a sweet person but we were having problems. The 33 year old stepped in and showed me a moment of happiness. However that was a big mistake! I was sold a dream and a fantasy. I am having more problems than ever before. But I caused so much hurt and pain. We were suppose to be getting married this year.
But I was so broken and so weak. I been married 26 years. We both married young. I was 22 he was On our wedding night we fought. Since my Dad was not around growing up. I think my husband was a father figure…many years later I meet a guy we just text for years. Then I fell for him. Just were friends or was it more. My marriage to my husband is fighting all the time. I think we grew apart overtime. He had been both verbally and emotionally abusive for pretty much the whole time with some nice days here and there.
I begged cried and pleaded for him to please stop being mean, ignoring me, disrespecting me, walking on me, hurting me in every way imaginable except physically. A year ago I started talking to a man online and while at first we were friends, about six months ago, we realized we were falling for each other. Please, any advice helps. Help me please I am so confused.
Please give me some advixe. Hi my name is Samantha I am 20 yeara old my husband and I were married for almost a year been together for 3 years but he was deported back to Mexico and is not able to come back legalized, me and my husband been threw thick and thin together, im his first serious relationship and his first love and he is my guy i would do anything for that i love to death, we had a still born, we have been threw hell to be with eachother but its jus at the point were i cant.
Help i love my husband but he wont change i told him millions of times about what i want…. I love touching, feeling, caressing, hugging and kissing. My wife just lays there like a corpse and will not have oral sex either. My heart aches for love. I want to be her right now. I want our bodies to be one. I been married 8 years from now…but after he bring me here at usa..
Been married to my husband for 14 years with 2 preteens. We carry a lot of pain from our past. From the hurtful things we did to eat other as teenagers. Seems our past will alway haunt us. It always comes up in arguments. My husband is a great father and provider. Just really bad about verbally respecting me and the pain a carry from him stepping out of our marriage is everlasting.
Because financial reasons we lived under the same roof but was separated. I started to emotionally move on. Started going out with the ladies and enjoying myself. Someone I was madly in love with in the past. I wanted a family more than anything. Just out of a relationship as well. So we exchange numbers that night. Short story, became friends again. Was helping each other thru our break ups and feels started back right where they left off.
We got together one night and it was a night full of passion. We have the best relationship. Talk , respect , romance and it feels like we truly know each other. He pledes me back. And I thought I would leave this passionate guy who took my heart alone. So I told my husband I broke it off with him. And kept doing what I do with the other guy on the side.
In the back of my mind I thought my husband was just going to fail. Something needs to change and I really need o make a decision on what I want. Guy number 2 is wanting more from me now.
I do truly care for both men. I married my husband six years ago. I did not love him at the time of marriage, but decided to get married because 1 in the ten years preceding my marriage, my parents had become increasingly derisive about my age and the need to settle down, and 2 my husband was the first man I slept with.
The Sunday-school girl in me felt tremendous guilt and thought marriage would appease the guilt. My husband is a good person. I respect his strong sense of honor and responsibility. He also has deep insecurities. He will not undertake any potentially confrontational tasks such as car purchasing, mortgage discussions, utility connections, tax filings, or anything that involves third parties.
His insecurities may also contribute to performance anxiety, but we have a sexless marriage, no kids, and he believes mid-thirties are too old to have kids now. I care about him a good deal and want to love him. I feel like I spend considerable time and money arranging activities which he invariably finds fault with. About three years ago, I realized how vulnerable my marriage was when my male colleague called about a work issue and we ended talking late into the night.
I could joke and debate with my colleague without worrying about hurting his feelings and it was a relief to not feel emotionally drained after a conversation.
I enjoyed the conversation so much that I continued to have long phone discussions for three months before my guilt became such that I changed jobs and asked my husband to attend marital counseling with me. He refused because of the expense and his strong belief that counselors are no-value-add-money pits. A year ago, I met another man. Again, it was a relief to talk to someone and not feel emotionally drained. Again I struggled with a considerable degree of self-loathing for months. Nevertheless, I continue to consider divorce because of the hopeless sadness I feel when I contemplate walking through the remainder of my life with my husband and without even the consolation of children.
I met someone during my temporary work assignment. I came back to my country and he stays in that country where we met. Me and my husband already have issues before i met him. Now, its making me more confuse. My husband is a good man. But i dont think i love him anymore.
I also have 1 kid. I need your advise. I apologize for a long story but I feel I must tell it because I need help and have nowhere to go. I grew up in a very sheltered household as an only-child and went to an all-boys school up until college. I never interacted with girls at all until college. I joined a church and became very involved with it, and met a woman 5 years my senior and we dated for a little over a year and a half, at which point I discovered her visa would expire within a few months she was an immigrant.
Being inexperienced and afraid of the pain of a break up I decided we should get married, and for some crazy reason both of our parents gave us approval. We were both students and during the entire four years we were essentially living off of student loan leftovers and support from parents. About two years into the marriage, I started to feel like maybe this was a stupid decision. I think we both just latched on to whoever came our way. In addition to that, we have lots of issues.
Her family and friends drive me insane. When I try to discuss an issue I either get hostility and she explodes with the issues she has with me but for some reason never tried communicating, or she plays a pouting guilt trip and then giggles like a little kid when I take back what I said.
On occasion she will recognize the issue and say she will work on it, but then never does or temporarily fixes it and relapses a short time later. I made a list of goods and bads in our relationship, and aside from her being kind and supportive, the list of bads is exponentially longer and a constant source of stress and irritation for me. Now we live separately due to work, and I feel our futures are going separate ways.
My degree, qualifications, and language skill limit me to working overseas. I am unqualified to work in the US, and even if I were I refuse to because life is much better for me here healthcare, etc. My wife had planned on getting a degree and acquiring the language skill to work here with me, but that fell through and she cannot work here, and I will not be able to support her on one salary. My future is here overseas, and her future is back home with her family store. So here I am, wondering why I got married before getting my life together, perfectly content being alone here in a foreign country.
And then I randomly met one girl and dropped my guard slightly nothing physical , and within a couple of hours I felt like I had known this person my entire life. As if I had met her at some point in the past. Even though I already have so many times. My life has been one that has been controlled by fear and loneliness. I have always felt unloved and unwanted and fear of being alone has lead me into many relationships.
I crave being talked to. I crave the intimacy of conversation and time spent together. When I first dated my wife all the red flags were flying in my mind. She is extremely introverted and damaged psychologically. I was extremely lonely in the dating period but married her because we had become sexually active and I was fearful no one would ever come to really love me for who I am.
We separated our seven year of marriage because my loneliness within the marriage lead me to seeking relationship out of the home. After seven years apart and two short term relationships and her in four relationships I turned to religion and once more married my first wife. We have been together now 13 years and once again I am suffering mightily from loneliness. I have come to the point of almost hating her for leaving me so lonely. I want out of our marriage even if that means I never ever love again.
I made a terrible mistake by choosing a woman who cannot physically make herself talk to me. What pains me in this is there will once again be fear on my part. Fear of loneliness and fear of spending the rest of my life alone. I have been suicidal for at least three years maybe up to six years because of loneliness. Staying with her will only strengthen my resolve to commit suicide. Leaving her a second time hurts like hell because it destroys me and rips my heart apart to hurt anyone.
I can get you since I have always felt lonely in my marriage too. I found out it was the original family wounding that caused these feelings. Now I stated loving myself more and doing lots of things, connecting with collegues, friends… My male bff got cancer and passed away, so I was really left totally desparate since he was a conversation partner in all matters.
Which my husband refuses to be. He does not want to share his inner feelings. I have been married for 3 years, but in the relationship for 11 and living together for 7. We met very young and moved in together when we were It started as just some fun, but the more we talked the more I fell for him. We have so much in common and share so many interests that my husband has no interest in. I have fallen completely in love with him. The other guy has waited on me, but has recently gotten into a relationship with a girl.
But nothing has really changed with us except I do not near from him all the time now. He has no idea that I do actually love him. I have one child not sure what to do. Since then every year I travel to where my boyfriend lives for month to spend time with him.
My boyfriend is not an easy person, sometimes we argue together, but we have a great sex , he has been waiting for 5 years that I get my divorce to marry me, but I feel so guilty to leave my husband. My husband is a really good man and he loves me a lot, but I have no sexual attraction toward him, and we have sex together every 1 or2 weeks. My husband is very passive, type B personality and my boyfriend is very active type A personality.
Iv been married for almost 4 years, recently we seperated for 6 months and I met someone else who I feel is a better fit for my life. She has a great personality and very attractive, but I do still love my wife so I told her to come back home along with our 1 year old daughter.
I tried leaving the other woman but something always keeps bringing me back to her. My mind tells me to stay with my family and work on our marriage but my heart tells me to leave and go with the other woman and live happily ever after. Only after reading so many things online statistics say it might not work out with the new woman.. We were just almost 5 months in our relationship when i got pregnant. My husband then, agreed but, he had asked me ways to deceived my family.
He even asked if we could fake it. But the only normal thing we did as a couple was having sex. We never connected emotionally. We lived with my parents. For the past three years, he was a student for a year and a half and was never with me and our kid more than a month straight. After that, he leave us for an ojt for a year.
Im certain, he missed the growing up of our child. Now, our son is three years old and during those short times my husband had a strong bond with our child. Likewise with the kid who always asks for his father. And it seems, my husband forgot everything from the past and treated me good. But i am more on off.
I was always confused with him. I even remembered my ex and thought i was still inlove with him. I cried for my ex even i already have a husband. Now, Im talking to a guy online for a month now. And i developed a certain degree of attraction to him. But im not certain if the feeling is mutual. However, he said he likes me though im difficult. Im excited about the idea. I always thought about this new man. I even began writing to my diary again because i was alarmed that i felt so vulnerable with this stranger.
Now, I know what we have or will have is a different concern and not the most important thing here.
My confusion is about me and my husband. I really wanted to be free but i do not know how to start saying it to him. And my son, i dont want him to get hurt and drag to this hurtful situation. He loves his father so much. But i cant feel anything with my husband now. No connection at all.
Tips for seeking friend outside of marriage. Patricksound. Posts: 7: Registered Member. Patricksound. Registered Member. Joined I'm now resolved to looking for someone in a similar situation to me and have created a profile on Adult friend finder but no luck so far. Does any one have any tips on good sites or tips for navigating through. USA Male seeking Friend Long Term Relationship then Marriage USA, after meeting each other and learning all about each other and what we both are hoping to find if it all works out then marriage and long happy life Contact advertiser. Share ad: Flag. Advertiser. Contact advertiser. You probably never meant for it to happen. It’s not as if you went looking for a lover. However, once you fell in love with someone else other than your spouse, things got rather intense.