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Another week, another story of everyday sexism. So here is my story. Last night was my senior prom. Fast forward to prom night. Not trashy, but you definitely would look twice when I walked through a doorway. And you know what happened? I got kicked out of prom because of it.

The whole situation made me feel violated, walked over and ostracized. This is what I want to say. As responsible adults who get to have opinions and likes and dislikes too? Clare is doing well and is supported by a good group of friends. It is particularly infuriating when women are the ones enforcing harmful and inconsistent standards on other women. Clare, I hope you and your boyfriend and friends have a chance to get dressed up again and do something better than Patriarchy Prom.

I think we all know who the real moron is. You are a very tall blonde white girl with a short but appropriate dress dancing on a black guy. I doubt they would have kicked you out if your date were a white guy or better yet if YOU were a black girl. This is waaay worst and you AND your boyfriend deserve and apology! I confess I had the same reaction. I thought the exact same thing. Your post is great and well written.

Mila maybe dont make everything about race. You seriously are part of the problem if youre going to go there. Racism is stereotyping someone based on the color of their skin….

Anyone ever think this other lady and Mrs. Unfortunately, you are not correct. Isms denote a power imbalance. Those in the out-group, in this case, African American women, cannot be racist because they are not part of the power structure. They can be prejudiced, but they cannot be racist as the outgroup. Ehhh…wrong, politically indoctrinated tool. That is a liberal academic excuse to allow minorities to be racists.

In this case, racism is a suspicious but unproven suspect… nothing more. Seriously…you should be ashamed of your gullibility to academic politically correct dogmatic redefinitions.

You stop people talking about racism. Preventing or attacking people who speculate about racism puts you in a pretty bad spot on the moral high ground. Calling them a racist just makes you look stupid. There is nothing inherently racist in speculating about racism or identifying it when you see it.

And racism is not only based on skin color, this, my friend, is a very USA-centered vision of racism. As a minority, your post makes me want to throw up. People like you are a huge reason racism still exists today. So Black people are not responsible for racism as well as other races? Some of the comments on this page make me want to puke! I almost feel sorry for people like you who are just so dumb! Well thanks for you concern! Pick up a dictionary. This is what is wrong with our country.

People like you want to make up definitions to suit what you want. The truth is that the others were right. In highschool they introduced a black history class in our school. I dont believe they should teach about slavery without a bit about all the other slavery throughout history around the world. Because they teach it like it only ever happened to blacks in america. We never had so many hateful black raciest kids in our school until that class started.

But they teach a biased version of slavery in those classes instead of the facts that all blacks do not come from africa and all whites are not from england. Black history has great artists, musicians and leaders. Why are they not teaching about that?

You know a paragraph later I think this annoys me. The USA did not invent slavery. The USA also ended slavery and much of the world subsequently followed our lead. And many whites were lynched side by side with blacks by the KKK for the sin of allowing blacks to hold office and vote. Depends on what you call racism. As a couple, they were singled out. I get tired of people playing the race card every time there is a little bit of drama.

Many homeschooling graduation programs have speakers that absolutely rail about Obama and what he has done to this country. All imaginary, of course, because he has done so much good. As soon as I saw the picture, I thought the same thing. If men are staring at her then kick their perverted asses out of the prom, not her. What a stupid world we live in.

Why does she only have that one pic in her bare feet with her head out of the picture? What does that matter? Why do you need to see the whole product? Uhmm, cause just maybe it might be someone else in the pic wearing the dress? It just sounds a bit stupid, no offense intended. The omission of a photo showing what she actually looked like is suspicious and suggests she is hiding something. Yes, blaming a 17 year old girl who every day is bombarded with the adds showing sexy half dressed women and told that is what people want to see her in, makes perfect sense.

This is how the thought of dressing like a slut means you want to get raped is still around. Who died and made you purveyor of appropriateness. But it seems like you just want to find something to complain about.

I hate fundamentalist fucktards. You go to the beach in a bikini. They are all porn stars, especially the ones for SI, and Maxim, right? You are the product of your own industry, Hannah. If you want to change that, you have a long swim against the current. But I will support that. Not enough models stand up for being objectified, at least not vocally enough.

You need to work on your communication skills, than not then, and stop being ranty. Also, omit cursing and control your finger gestures and anger in public. Learn about nonviolent intervention and most of all, respect that other people have authority over you and will abuse it. Let it go at the time then hit the internet and YES! That is what the bloggess does and she is brilliant. Just tie that legal line. Learn the rules of the game and then use all the loopholes.

White woman here and the same thing popped into my mind when I saw the picture. The dress struck me as basically what every other teenage girl wears to a formal. There was nothing extreme about your makeup. In other words, I doubt you were any more or less provocative than most of the other girls there. You guys make a cute couple, by the way. And yes, it is SO creepy that a bunch of middle-aged men were looking down at teenage girls dancing and trying to figure out what might make teenage boys think impure thoughts.

At my high school prom, there were very few male, if any, chaperones. Casting the blame on the fathers chaperoning the event is merely a smoke screen for her own impure thoughts. Still, my female supervisor told me the men in the store had complained that my skirt was far too revealing and I needed to change.

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22 store manager sales girl and fucks her in gdwon

I think we all know who the real moron is. You are a very tall blonde white girl with a short but appropriate dress dancing on a black guy.

I doubt they would have kicked you out if your date were a white guy or better yet if YOU were a black girl. This is waaay worst and you AND your boyfriend deserve and apology! I confess I had the same reaction. I thought the exact same thing. Your post is great and well written. Mila maybe dont make everything about race. You seriously are part of the problem if youre going to go there.

Racism is stereotyping someone based on the color of their skin…. Anyone ever think this other lady and Mrs. Unfortunately, you are not correct. Isms denote a power imbalance. Those in the out-group, in this case, African American women, cannot be racist because they are not part of the power structure.

They can be prejudiced, but they cannot be racist as the outgroup. Ehhh…wrong, politically indoctrinated tool. That is a liberal academic excuse to allow minorities to be racists. In this case, racism is a suspicious but unproven suspect… nothing more. Seriously…you should be ashamed of your gullibility to academic politically correct dogmatic redefinitions.

You stop people talking about racism. Preventing or attacking people who speculate about racism puts you in a pretty bad spot on the moral high ground.

Calling them a racist just makes you look stupid. There is nothing inherently racist in speculating about racism or identifying it when you see it. And racism is not only based on skin color, this, my friend, is a very USA-centered vision of racism. As a minority, your post makes me want to throw up. People like you are a huge reason racism still exists today.

So Black people are not responsible for racism as well as other races? Some of the comments on this page make me want to puke! I almost feel sorry for people like you who are just so dumb! Well thanks for you concern! Pick up a dictionary.

This is what is wrong with our country. People like you want to make up definitions to suit what you want. The truth is that the others were right. In highschool they introduced a black history class in our school. I dont believe they should teach about slavery without a bit about all the other slavery throughout history around the world.

Because they teach it like it only ever happened to blacks in america. We never had so many hateful black raciest kids in our school until that class started. But they teach a biased version of slavery in those classes instead of the facts that all blacks do not come from africa and all whites are not from england. Black history has great artists, musicians and leaders. Why are they not teaching about that? You know a paragraph later I think this annoys me.

The USA did not invent slavery. The USA also ended slavery and much of the world subsequently followed our lead. And many whites were lynched side by side with blacks by the KKK for the sin of allowing blacks to hold office and vote.

Depends on what you call racism. As a couple, they were singled out. I get tired of people playing the race card every time there is a little bit of drama. Many homeschooling graduation programs have speakers that absolutely rail about Obama and what he has done to this country. All imaginary, of course, because he has done so much good.

As soon as I saw the picture, I thought the same thing. If men are staring at her then kick their perverted asses out of the prom, not her. What a stupid world we live in. Why does she only have that one pic in her bare feet with her head out of the picture? What does that matter? Why do you need to see the whole product? Uhmm, cause just maybe it might be someone else in the pic wearing the dress? It just sounds a bit stupid, no offense intended. The omission of a photo showing what she actually looked like is suspicious and suggests she is hiding something.

Yes, blaming a 17 year old girl who every day is bombarded with the adds showing sexy half dressed women and told that is what people want to see her in, makes perfect sense.

This is how the thought of dressing like a slut means you want to get raped is still around. Who died and made you purveyor of appropriateness. But it seems like you just want to find something to complain about. I hate fundamentalist fucktards.

You go to the beach in a bikini. They are all porn stars, especially the ones for SI, and Maxim, right? You are the product of your own industry, Hannah. If you want to change that, you have a long swim against the current. But I will support that. Not enough models stand up for being objectified, at least not vocally enough. You need to work on your communication skills, than not then, and stop being ranty.

Also, omit cursing and control your finger gestures and anger in public. Learn about nonviolent intervention and most of all, respect that other people have authority over you and will abuse it. Let it go at the time then hit the internet and YES! That is what the bloggess does and she is brilliant.

Just tie that legal line. Learn the rules of the game and then use all the loopholes. White woman here and the same thing popped into my mind when I saw the picture. The dress struck me as basically what every other teenage girl wears to a formal. There was nothing extreme about your makeup. In other words, I doubt you were any more or less provocative than most of the other girls there. You guys make a cute couple, by the way.

And yes, it is SO creepy that a bunch of middle-aged men were looking down at teenage girls dancing and trying to figure out what might make teenage boys think impure thoughts. At my high school prom, there were very few male, if any, chaperones. Casting the blame on the fathers chaperoning the event is merely a smoke screen for her own impure thoughts.

Still, my female supervisor told me the men in the store had complained that my skirt was far too revealing and I needed to change. She refused, so I went over her head to her own supervisor, a male, who said he found nothing inappropriate about the length of my skirt, and if the males working in the store found it too distracting, then perhaps it was they who should go home for the day and not me.

She, of course, was very angry about his siding with me and continued to persist, but he refused to budge, telling her his decision was final and sending me back out on the floor.

I came out triumphant, but to this day it reminds me that not all misogynistic injustices are carried out only by men. No I really believe your first impression was correct, how many other couples were of mixed ancestry? I feel this was the reason and this makes my blood BOIL the hypocrites that bullied her out should be but will not be ashamed of themselves. Also, without knowing if there were any other interracial couples at the dance, or if they were the only one, it is hard to leap to that as a probable cause.

Although, It was also my first thought upon seeing the picture of them together. These kids are exactly the types we want shaping the future of this country. Their parents should be very proud. She pointed out that she was not even dancing, much less grinding as you put it. I am often the first to assume race is an issue bc I live in Florida where it often is the issue — but here i disagree for reasons other than the aformentioned misunderstanding.

I think that the women were jealous and bitter who singled her out from the girls that were in too skimpy clothing dancing sexually. As the person who experienced the event, Clare pointed point that she has a leggy attention grabbing form and the men on the balcony were noticably oggling, so noticable that Mrs. D and company decided to harrass her. Women are so affected by the patriarchy that many dont even see it and we attack each other because society has us convinced that we are competing with each other based on our appearance alone.

A middle age woman observing her own husband or men just like hime salivating over a teenage girl triggers that fight response. This is not a new sentiment by any means, indicators of this attitude are evidenced throughout our pop culture. Female characters in most books, tv,. Nothing wrong with looking, but assault and harassment are to be repudiated at first opportunity. What is inappropriate is acting on those thoughts. I think he only uses the male pronoun there to stress that women are not to blame when men commit sexual assault.

Mila…I was thinking the exact same thing. While the 45 year old guy may have been perverted I am willing to bet big money he is also a racist and bigot. I only read the cached version of this, but the date as described was wearing something else. I thought the man driving the car was another friend. I completely agree with you. But let me offer this: Mila, Clare is a tall, leggy blonde with a pretty face, of course these men were ogling at her.

Personally, I did notice that her boyfriend is black, but my gut reaction was that Mrs. D was just really jealous of her, she was jealous that this girl was getting attention that she never got. D probably saw the 45 year old men ogling at Clare and realized that no one ever looks at her that way. Maybe she herself felt attracted to Clare and that scared the shit out of her. D had to have felt threatened in a very personal way.

And Clare is very intelligent and aware, she would of mentioned that in her article if that was the case. D felt threatened on a deep, personal level and that is the reason she refused to even let them speak to the highest person in charge. I agree with you. I think the nasty woman chaperone decided that all by herself.

I agree that this is the real reason that she got kicked out. Racist white people had two major elections to train themselves to hide their obvious motives when it comes to skin color. Lets hope that she becomes a doctor or lawyer, makes lots of money and disallow any inequality she sees in her life.

That is what I thought too,. I have faced similar attitudes about bi-racial dating in the past. I know it is , but I have a feeling that is what the issue was. Like a bunch of men sit around a table and decide how to oppress women. Patriarchy like this is gleefully enabled via Matriarchy. More misogyny is perpetrated against women, by other women, than men could ever hope to achieve.

First things first, you look beautiful in those pictures, and your boyfriend looks dapper as all get out. Not many dudes could pull off that hat, but he nailed it. As for middle aged ladies enforcing unwritten rules and being generally horrible people, I have no insight. The creepy men though, I have a little experience with. Unfortunately, several family members know of this blog and I post under my real name.

This may lead to awkward phone calls. This is going to get a little off topic, and if I drift too far, feel free to delete the comment. Growing up, I certainly heard it quite a bit, although never in its extreme form. As things get farther out, this idea gets a bit scarier as Clare mentioned above: The actual woman is almost irrelevant here.

The problem is in my head, and the type of thoughts running through there. Afterwards is different; afterwards I can get angry; afterwards I can lash out at the innocent object of my lust. To an extent, men are programmed to do this. I can read this blog till the end of time, stand up for my sisters, reject obvious patriarchy, whatever. That seed is still there, still lusting. I failed miserably for well over a decade.

Had the prayer partners — no change. Memorized the verses, did everything, and nothing worked. In the end actually, is it ever the end? Really broken for the first time. Surrendered as much as was possible too little. Dad took that and ran with it. Until God works there, until they really surrender this, nothing you do or say will work. You cannot shame away lust. I also believe you are confusing feeling lust and acting on it. Anger is a normal, if not generally helpful, reaction that needs to be tempered, and hate must certainly never come into the equation, but stern and firm calling out is extremely important.

Standing our ground is important. I believe that you are correct about the anger. That does need to be called out, and it can be suppressed if people think it is socially unacceptable.

Looking back over what I wrote, I do seem to imply that this issue should simply be ignored. Attacking the victim-shaming and controlling behavior is a noble thing and needs to be done. The thought I was attempting to make was about lust. That being said, I completely disagree. The person is involved certainly, but God supplies the power. Jesus working in me can, and together we can transform who I am. That was not my intention. Rather, I was attempting to propose that the core of lust cannot be handled without Jesus any more than anything can be handled without him.

I hate to double post, but I just had a thought that might better explain what I was trying to say. However, think of the sin s that you do struggle with. Try to just stop. To just not sin anymore in that way. To stop, and not fall into the trap of legalism and pride. But switching it off just takes a sense of humor, self-awareness, and maturity. Some people need to step to get to that point, maybe, and I wish them well. If you want to cast that as spiritual, be my guest.

You nail it when you write: So far from being told that they are entitled to view women as sexual objects, they are taught to feel shame for finding women attractive. But finding women attractive is unavoidable for a straight guy so they need to find a way to cope with the shame which is unfairly foisted on them. In the church, the model men are taught for coping with their shame is to attempt to control women because perhaps if you can get the women to be less provocative, it will be easier for the men to avoid their shame about being sexual beings.

So stand up for yourself and speak your truth, but cut the guys a little slack. They are in their own impossible, shame inducing conundrum. Now, the men who turn into enforcers, those guys are seriously sick. At some point they need to hear that they are hurting people and start facing their own shame. Thank you for standing your ground in utmost respect to those who are your elders. Your story seems honest and reflective to what you know to have happened that evening.

You are a bright and wonderful person who got a raw deal. I cannot for the life of me figure why things were handled so badly as they were but I know you to be truthful and a Love bearer. Hopefully in time reconciliation can take place between you and the others with Mrs. As I mentioned, the issue is largely taken care of now. My tenses got a bit confused, making it look like this was still a major ongoing problem.

That being said, your suggestion was awesome. The more you fight normal desire, the more power it has over you. This is one of the big problems with the whole purity obsession. Which is about as healthy as shaming a one year old for pooping on herself.

They are pretty much enforcing immaturity on men and then shaming them for it. Anyhow, stop with all the overcome it nonsense. A mature man can enjoy and notice when a woman is beautiful without it being a threat to his chastity or purity. Understanding it was part of what helped me escape it and become a better person. On the whole, I agree with you, and you put it much better than I could have. With the last paragraph though, I would like to add a point of clarification.

I did not intend to say that we need to overcome our sexual desires. As you so rightly note, those are God given and a beautiful thing. My point on overcoming was only about when those desires are twisted into something evil. Not noticing a woman is beautiful and appreciating that; not even realizing that your body desires her.

Rather, I was opposing when those thoughts turn into the ogling and the lust. Overcoming only the phase you mentioned, before a man can enjoy and notice a beautiful woman without it threatening his chastity or purity. I just assumed that it was Christian because what other type of group in the USA would have a situation like this?

Not trying to push my religion on anybody. Sadly, religion the holier-than-thou, bible thumping kind has a lot to do with this. Petty religious people hide behind their bibles because they think that gives them the right to pretend they are better than anyone else.

If I was the father of that young lady I would have taken her right back and made a huge stink, security or not. This is an idea also present in other religious systems too, unfortunately Islam at least, maybe Hinduism too? I hear blaming women for rape is a big problem in India. Clare, thank you so much for the share.

The patriarchy is torn every time we dare to have a voice. Continue speaking, reflecting, and acting against injustice in all forms and fashions, no pun intended. Clare — So sorry you had to go through such an outrageous ordeal. The adults in the situation should be ashamed of themselves. And that has pros and cons, but the unrelenting sexism AND racism will converge to a level where students will simply refuse to participate in parent and school sanctioned events.

Clare, this is so wrong and it triggered memories of my experiences as a teen. Keep that dress and wear it again and again because you look beautiful in it. My daughter attended a very conservative college and that was their rule re: So this really resonates.

Clare, I am so impressed by your clear-headed and dignified response to a very unfair situation. I am sorry that your special night was ruined by some small-minded control freaks. Thank you for calling it out and I hope that, by bringing attention to what happened, you have made a difference for some younger girls.

Best of luck to you at college. I have nothing against interracial couples, but do you think they might have had a problem with you being a pretty white girl with an African American male that made them more so upset instead of your dress and just used that as an excuse to kick you and your date out?

Love has no limit. Only idiots like the chaperones at this prom seem to think so. I had the same thought. There could be a lot of levels of terrible going on here. I think you may be on to something. I hate to agree with this possible scenario…. If u keep defending that u were kicked out for ultimately dressing within their code given, 1 of them will finally bust out with a piece of truth IF the racial aspect was truly a cause of your dismissal….

I just want to say that I thought of that, too — especially a blonde young lady making a presence in a room with a very mature looking not inappropriately — I assume he is around also black man, if at least subconsciously that was the issue the mouth-breathing, middle aged dads were having.

I will point out that she said HE bought the tickets and brought HER to prom, which would say to me he is also homeschooled and part of their association. Our girls mostly had Vanna White-looking sequined dresses in hot pink and lime green that were backless, low cut and everything else. They made the girls with more classy and original dresses look all the better. The people behind me were upset with interracial couples — black boys and white girls, moreso than they were white boys and Latina girls.

For one, I wished they would shut up and almost said something, but my daughter might never have forgiven me for making a scene. Who are the boys supposed to date, even if we object to interracial relationships, which is, of course, wrong? Adults should at the very least have to speak to young people with integrity and name their claim. Otherwise, how can we expect it of them.

Yeah, that dress, while cute, is actually pretty modest. Singling it out makes no sense at all. So I have to wonder about a racial motivation in addition to the creepy misogyny. I have the same feeling, this is a lovely young woman, but nothing about her makes me want to stop and ogle. Nothing is busting out or overly accentuated, she looks nice.

There really seams to be something else at play here. I went to my senior prom with a guy who was my best friend at the time. We got some funny looks at the very nice restaurant where we had dinner before the dance, but that was as far as it went. You looked beautiful for your prom, your date was dashing, and there is nothing of which either of you should feel ashamed.

I doubt I could have done half so well at Good luck with getting the further refunds! As a girl with a long body, big bum, and short arms I am weirdly proportioned.

I am ok with this. Would the prom organisers be ok with that? Similarly, girls with longer legs may well be wearing a dress which passes this rule, but by nature of having more leg to show than a shorter girl, are classed as showing too much. Because seriously, that dress is awesome, your sister looked fabulous, and I hope she gets the chance to wear it again soon! I have a long torso, too, and got away with some pretty short skirts and dresses in high school because of the fingertip rule I always wore anything that short with opaque tights, at least.

It does seem pretty subjective. I have long legs and short torso. They need to just say the dresses need to be x inches from the knee. My name Nicholas Tabachuk. Jessye Rae Tabachuk husband. They believe that there is nothing that can be done legally because it is a home school event.

Which undoubtedly offended the wives and women that were chaperones as well. The fact you were singled out prior to any foul language or foul acts proves there was a vendetta formed from the very beginning. Aside from just the reimbursement for your groups tickets, there are several things that bed to be imbued as well. These things include the cost of the clothing for the evening, transportation, and any other funds incurred by your group.

I, taking psychology three years in college learned megalomania is a huge part of home schooling their children and sheltering them from the real world. It is not fair your name will be flung through the mud as if you brought methamphetamine and started an orgy.

And the fact that you did not sign a document about their dress code, in which you did follow, leaves the door open for something huge. Now I can not get into those finer details on a public forum but if you contact my wife, I can go over these huge options with you. Some include action against the male chaperones. Some include action against this miss dee. If others are willing to testify to the actions of other attendees and the non discipline from the male chaperones, than it grows even larger.

How can anyone be proud to be a member of one of the most violent and morally depraved criminal organisations in the word. Catholics donates more to charity than any other organization in the history of the world.

Also, they operate 1 out of 4 hospitals in the world. Think before you post. Yes, and for sure, that means ALL Catholics are violent and morally depraved. Hmm, here people are debating the potential reasons for discrimination against this young girl, and you all are going to to paint all Catholics with the broad brush of violence and depravity? Sorry, Robert Lentink and Walrus — neither of you have any credibility. He said they belong to a depraved organization.

Its not just Catholics. Every organizations has bad people involved. They have the real group that wants peace AND the extremest. Americans automatically claim the group is a terrorist group because of one sector.

The church covered it up and gave the offenders more children to molest, you are as bad as they are for minimizing their crimes. The Catholic church is a criminal organization. You cannot blame a whole organization for certain individuals actions. Thats like giving a detention to the whole class because two students acted up. The Catholic Church including up to the ex-Pope in his function as the head of the Inquisition systematically covered up the abuse. Instead of dealing with it and preventing future abuse, they shielded the abusers and moved them around.

Or moved them to the Vatican to prevent their arrest. Or moved around money to prevent payouts to the victims. To this day they obstruct justice at every turn. Yes, other organizations have sexual abuse too. A few even cover it up. But the law eventually holds them accountable. Not so with the Catholic Church. Because organized religion is above the law. Never mind the countless other crimes against humanity the Catholic Church has committed throughout its existence.

The first formal statement on sexual abuse of children by clerics was in 60 CE. He said absolutely nothing about individual Catholics, he simply expressed an inability to understand how someone could be proud to be a part of an organisation that has a DENSE history of unsolicited religious wars, covering up the sexual assaults of children, propagating outright misogyny and bigotry, money laundering, YOU NAME IT.

Okay sweets, your reading skills need help then too because i already replied to your other post before you copied and pasted it.

No hun I replied to another comment above by Woofgang , in which they clearly needed help understanding what Robert actually said, and my comment to you the one directly above your comment was a reply to your comment in which you also clearly need help understanding the words that were said in the original comment.

The comment your originally replied to was not meant for you, it was meant for Woofgang. The original poster did not say members of the Catholic church were morally depraved, etc. He was talking about the Vatican, the Catholic organisation. Just because the government is greedy and morally depraved does not make every single person in the United States greedy and morally depraved.

I can say that almost every single Pope that has ever taken seat in the Vatican has been a tyrant against progress and justice and morality. How can you support an organisation that refuses to let women have any leadership and then comment on a post like this that is talking about the effects of patriarchal systems such as the gendered hierarchy within the Catholic church?

THAT is what the original poster is saying. All that charity comes with strings attached. Such as refusing to let babies be adopted by same-sex couples. There are bad people who happen to be Catholic. This does not mean Catholics are bad people. Use a little common sense. LOL your reading skills need help…. Maybe tomorrow my church as a whole will go molest people for fun. Get over the past and look at the now. My family is Catholic and they are amazing people, far from thieving and violent.

AGAIN, your ignorance and intolerance is showing. If you want to argue semantics, go ahead. What he said was offensive. No less offensive than someone saying Muslims are a terrorist organization who are violent and discriminatory against women. An organization is in and of itself not violent or morally depraved. An organization is not a living thing. Did I write that Catholics are bad people? I said their organization, their governing body is criminal.

The fact that they had male chaperones sitting in a balcony looking down on you like some piece of meat also is another base for a lovely suit.

This was never about the rules, or even dancing. It was about the green eyed monster some of the women at the event had because you looked amazing and they wished they could look that way again or have those men looking at them that way.

I would pursue this because they took from you what was supposed to be a wonderful night because of their own personal flaws. D she would have no other option than to have me arrested for disorderly conduct. That was something that stood out to me as being an uncomfortable situation. Having men standing above and look down on the group, as a women who is anything but small could see down my shirt and my chest unless I wore a turtle neck.

I really think there was an issue with the adult men getting turned on by the young women and for one reason or another she was singled out and sent home. It was a private paid function, the group essentially stole their time and money from these teens. At the very least taking them to small claims court will cause them to have to expend time of their own, not to mention a hassle, maybe it will force them to pay up and refund the money, at most stop being so stupid.

I really hope all the parents raised one hell of a stink. We are behind you with support and love. This episode with all its legalistic standards is hilariously paradoxical, considering what high school prom has come to offer: Why mandate dress length when the purpose is to cast off limits anyway? Five years ago, dresses would have been four fingers above the knee, with buttock-high out of the question.

Why is fingertip length so important now? And whose fingertips, anyway? Do you find that creepy? Maybe the kickers-out were not protecting themselves from lust so much as you from their creepy vibe. You love that dress, not because you love yourself in it, but because certain others love or hate you in it.

You want to be singular without being singled out. You want to conform and yet stand out. You want the power that comes with being desired, but you want to be desired only by the ones you find desirable and be invisible to the rest.

On the other hand, Clare, you could have suffered a fate much worse than what actually befell: Yeah, any man who oogles teen ass without feeling like an idiot is really immature. Most men grow up enough not feel compelled to oogle at every nice ass they see. No matter how nice it is. My conservative homeschooling parents were both Rejectors of Patriarchy, and my politics and faith are much more similar to theirs than is the case for most of my peers raised in patriarchal homes.

Read that over and over and over again. Is there shame for committing the sin of lust? Is there any shred of acknowledgement of what the Patriarchy claims is a pervasive evil?

The only men who are made to feel shame for their lust are young, attractive men. The older men feel perfectly free to lust because the lust of a young attractive man is usually welcomed by attractive young women.

The lust of a disgusting, repressed geezer, on the other hand, is abhorred by young women. Therefore, it is a useful tool for controlling young attractive women. What about those deemed unattractive? Those women have none of the power over the feelings and actions of males that these men have a paralyzing fear of. So here before us is the paradox of Patriarchy. Lust is evil in young, not-yet-mature men but perfectly fine in old, supposed-to-be-the-spiritual-leaders-but-obviously-has-tons-of-holes-in-their-umbrella men.

A TEENAGE girl dressing in a way that was never specified as wrong by the Bible is evil, but the command from Jesus to men to not commit adultery by lusting in his heart over a woman does not pertain to older supposed-to-be-mature males who are usually MARRIED and, therefore, in the only kind of status that is capable of committing adultery.

Yet we women are the emotional beings who need to be controlled? What are resources are you using? This simply could have been made up by you. Did YOU go to high school? Sorry your prom was a disaster. Its on them not you. They have a problem. By legal definition if they lust after a child under 18 yrs of age, they are child molesters.

It was the women who did the shaming and exhibited the truly sexist behavior. Lusting after an adolescent happens. Some adolescents look like adults.

What makes one a child molester is, you know, molesting a child. As another tall gorgeous woman, I am too often met by women who have a sense of inferiority, especially upon first meeting. Even though their feelings and beliefs about themselves are not my personal responsibility, I do love creating and nurturing the experience of the human connection.

I wish for people to feel at ease with me. Hence, my desire to assure a woman that she has no need for her walls. Step beyond a womans walls, and you can relish in the pure sunshine that she may not even know shines from within her. I have found that the very best thing I can do to prove to women that they have no need for making assumptions in regards to me, is treat them with genuine resect and love.

We are equals, after all. It is a true sadness to me when I encounter a woman who will not see herself as my peer. Something tells me that Mrs. D had always dreamt of looking and feeling as gorgeous as you did that night, Clare. But on the occasion that she got that chance, someone somewhere. It would seem that whomever that person s was tragically succeeded in their pursuits. This way they can take comfort in the fact that they are not alone in their misery.

I do not wish to create excuses for Mrs. D, only to express that my heart goes out to her and those who would support her beliefs and actions. The epidemic regarding rape culture is highly promoted, vouched for, believed in, and fiercely stood by.

Particularly by the victims thereof. I applaud you Clare for not only refusing to stand among the victims, but for also spreading awareness on the matter. You were absolutely beautiful for prom night, and you have a great group of friends. Your generation is not going to put up with this garbage. I was shamed as a college girl for wearing sweat pants in my own dorm.

A guy from church had dropped by unannounced, and I had just returned from jogging. He wanted me to change. I felt as if I had done something bad, although logically how could i even know that after 9pm I would get a surprise visit, or that baggy gey sweatpants are sexy? Or maybe i am just a godess. My point is — I took all the shame on myself. Your generation is going a different direction and I am very glad for you. I would like to tell you that you are nothing short of amazing. I am proud of you for standing up for yourself and deeply ashamed of those at the prom who objectified you and shamed you.

No one should make you feel ashamed for being a woman. No one should make you feel like your height, your curves, or anything else about your body is anything to hide. No one should shame you for wearing a pretty dress! Clare, get an attorney and sue the living shit out of that lady, and everyone else involved.

Make them pay dearly for ruining your only senior prom. The rules of the game are different. Clare paid for a ticket. She detrimentally relied- by buying a dress, paying for a limo, etc- on the promise that she would be able to attend and enjoy this event, so long as she stuck to the rules.

She was thrown out, but not for violating the rules. Unlike a baseball game, there was nothing on her ticket that stated the organizers could refuse admission for any or no reason. Go to the police and file a sexual harassment complaint. If they balk, go to court and file for an order of protection against the parents serving as chaperones. The record will follow them the rest of their lives.

The case would fall through and just be a waste of money. It would fall through. It was their organization. I have an officer living in my house and if he read this chain he would laugh at how silly this is. She would be turned away. She did follow the rules. She may not have any kind of criminal case but I bet she could at least get a refund for her friends.

I disagree with you. She chose to attend and follow the rules by purchasing their ticket. Number one, by accounts, she DID follow the rules. D arbitrarily chose to make the rules only apply for one person.

The money and time spent on the attire and associated expenses can — so I would say that girl and her group are entitled to recompensation. The law as in a police officer will not arrest anyone at this point, however this could easily go to civil court, and if won in civil court, a prosecutor could decide to file charges as discrimination is against the law.

Unlikely, but it could happen. You are aware that having a police office reading over your shoulder means jack and shit, right? Is this police officer also a lawyer? Does he understand discrimination and civil suits around said discrimination? Criminal law is not the same as civil law. If anyone treated my daughter this way they would see the inside of a courtroom. Also, the whole affair strikes me as more of a jealous matriarchy than any other form of social lunacy.

D saw a lovely young woman — like she never was. She sounds like a jealous ugly old biddy. Same tall, curvey, lovely girls seemed to get caught every day. Clare, you looked absolutely wonderful in the pictures you posted. Your face and hair are classic beauty, and, as mentioned in other posts, your date looks like he managed to channel an equivalent level of classic good looks to match you.

By your own admission, I would have looked twice — maybe even thrice — when you walked into the room. To be fair, we have no idea what the dads in the balcony were looking at or talking about.

There is nothing in this article to indicate that the males — boys and men — at this prom did anything untoward or inappropriate. The unfortunate events that unfolded here were not the doings of men.

Ed — I had the same thought. But I know from my growing up this happened several times where it was strictly the women enforcing dress code on young women. It is not out of line with psychology that they would use what ever reason they could come up real or imagined as a reason to slut shame, and avoid the personal responsibility of the situation.

When is it ever necessary for more than one or two chaperons to be so far removed from the children they are chaperoning?

What would be the purpose? Yes, these older women derive some sort of benefit from all of this in that they feel a little more secure in their loss of beauty. Also, it is the complete trashing of the interpretations of the Bible to falsely favor a certain way of life that just happens to place all power and control in the hands of the old men of the group that informs this behavior.

It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. Lusting is not a sin. Only married people can commit adultery.

Therefore, only married people lusting after another are committing the sin of adultery. Women can support patriarchy. Clare, what makes you beautiful is not the shape of your body, or your hair or eyes, or the way that dress looks on you. Your intellect and understanding of what happened makes you wiser than the bunch of sex-deprived adults that in the name of chaperoning are looking for fantasy material for their private times.

All the parents need to take the prom organizers, the ones not issuing the refunds, to small claims court separately, and then testify for each other. That way these fools have to go to court five separate times. Make them pay and shut them down.

I feel like you deserve a cookie for this because that would make their lives miserable for at least a little while. Are you being sarcastic or serious, for or against my proposal?

Might be a bit too early for my mind to be working right. Being a thorn in their sides would be awesome. Its okay to think something is sexy as long as your behavior is appropriate for the situation. Them being church dads has nothing to do with it. Perverted Church dads… More like pedophiles that go to church and are allowed to chaperon a school function like a dance to just fuel the fire.

I agree that they, the fathers, Mrs D and anyone else included in this PLOT to kick you out of your prom, should be held accountable in court. Now, depending on your local culture, this may make you a pariah but it may also create an important dialogue that would help prevent future occurrences of such behavior. Yeah…a good lawsuit might do wonders. Did anyone even see the nasty chaperone woman running up and down the stairs in that brief 15 minutes? Did she have a walkie-talkie to communicate with the men?

You receive your filing and other, reasonable legal fees when you win. Therefore you FAIL basic reading comprehension. Must be a homeschool parent. It strikes me as probable that no fathers were actually involved. Just the nasty woman who hated the dress. Sounds more like the matriarchy was the bad actor in this story. I believe that you, your boyfriend, and your entire party were robbed of a wonderful evening and over a hundred dollars. When older adults treat young adults with disrespect and disdain, they damage their own credibility.

This really comes back to the rape argument. She was raped for being too tall, too short, too hot, too drunk, too dressy. Go out and make those memories away from 40 year old perverts. If she was, I would agree with your argument. She simply kicked out. Can you and Tim come over? I decided I liked the way she looked, with her chubby little-girl's body and her glowing smile.

Soon, I saw Amber in their playhouse, waving me over. Not only was she taller, but her blouse bulged in a most interesting way. The series name is "Little Rich Girls" A coming of age story. The sisters loved to be home alone. Maybe that would seem strange for most young teens who would rather be gallivanting around without their siblings. But Sue and Alice were different. They were comfortable with each other.

They enjoyed each other. They actually liked each other. And they had much in common. Their attraction for each other was in no small part due to their well-to-do parents who were always away, usually at their respective offices making more money. For years they had had private schooling, nannies galore and all of the other niceties that comes to the upper crust. They had the requisite pets, a Dane, a newly-acquired pointer, a nice home and secluded pool. They never lacked for anything. Will they be able to continue to provide this free service?

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